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January 31, 2005
Note to self
- Judy Heller is having a series of racewalk technique critiques and group workouts over the next few months. February 13 and 27, and March 13 and 27. All are at the Grant High School track, NE 33rd and U.S. Grant Place, starting at 3pm. The fee is $10 per session.
- Hal Higdon's Intermediate Marathon Training—some PFitters are starting now to train for Newport.
I love the gym
Okay, so my gym isn't terribly cool, but I still love it. I walked into the pilates class with my favorite instructor who called out, 'hi Vicki!' Isn't that just the best start? Class was hard and really different than my evening classes, and today we used hand weights. I'm gonna hurt tomorrow!
Afterwards, the instructor asked me if I was interested in the Allegro, one of the pilates torture contraptions, and I said yes. So hopefully we will do a trial run on one next week and if I like it, I can do individual training with her. Which rocks. I am so excited!
I went upstairs and did some weightlifting: 60#, 6 chinups; 80#, 4 bench-presses; and various leg and hip machines at 80#, about 10 iterations. I did my balance ball bridge exercises, and my around-the-worlds. I weighed myself, and I weigh 233. I think that has to be wrong, but if only. That would make it three pounds and I would have made the 10 pounds by Austin. Which seems unlikely. Still, I hope against hope.
I felt like a new person. I felt like the person I had been on Sunday: relaxed, capable, happy.
I went and then bought a new pair of my old walking shoes. The woman minding the shop was a hoot, and was both manic and really helpful. I'm going to walk to work (hopefully) tomorrow in some old shoes, and then wander around the office in the new shoes, seeing how they do once my feet are swollen.
Once we got home this evening, I took Echo for a half-hour's walk. Big fun. Once he gets the pooping out of his system, he's a good little sprinter. Damn, this really turned out to be a great day!
Invigoration
The sovereign invigorator of the body is exercise, and of all the exercises walking is the best.
—Thomas Jefferson
I don't like Mondays
Yesterday was wonderful. It was fabulous. I spent the whole day with friends and my sweetie, I eat, I napped, I hung out. I was so relaxed.
Of course, this morning was rough, and probably would have been even if I had finished the work I brought home with me. I am afraid when there is a lot of work, working out is the first thing to go. I walked to the bus stop this morning, and I am hoping to carve out a long lunch for pilates and some weight-lifting, but I had hoped for something similar on Friday, and was able to just grab some food and eat it at my desk while trying to troubleshoot this and that.
Anyways, I'm hoping to show more of a spine, and get my butt out of here for awhile midday.
January 30, 2005
13 miles? 13 miles
Well, I did the 13 miles, or something similar yesterday. The ganderman failed me again, and died at 4.37 miles. So I did it by time. I guesstimated a 20 minute/mile pace, which should take 4 hours, 20 minutes, so I went out til I hit 2:10, and then retraced my steps.
We went and drove it this morning, and I did 13.4 miles.
It wasn't great, but I finished. That's enough.
My legs feel pretty good, and my feet, 4 hours later, didn't feel too bad. But when I was walking, I was cursing the new shoes and my feet. I kept questioning if my feet felt this bad during the PFit season, why didn't I remember it? And why the hell was I doing this?
Anyways. It seemed kinda warm, except when the wind blew, and then it was bitter cold. I wore a skort, a shirt, my ORRC fleece vest, and the yellowjacket, and thank heavens for the yellowjacket. I feel like a giant yellow blob wearing it, but it really does cut the chill of the wind.
I decided to do a there and back from the house into NW Portland, passing by a national bagel chain and my credit union's ATM. I had woken up in the night with a craving for a bagel with lox.
I was enjoying taking mental notes: it's one mile to the hospital (I would have thought it was closer, and by car it's .5 miles); it's two miles to our favorite dim sum; two and a third miles to the technical bookstore and Byways Cafe; two and half miles to our favorite bistro, Holdens. There was more that I no longer remember.
As usual, I enjoyed noticing details: an expensive condo in the Pearl with its deck festooned with Tibetan prayer flags, a bit of repaired sidewalk that had very very small bits of tile, a concrete lawn lion who wore a necklace of lightbulbs, the retro renovated office spaces of Rejuvenation and Powells, and an industrial building that had a roof and interior rooms, but no external walls any longer.
On the way back, I stopped to get the bagel. I asked for it toasted, but once I got outside, I realized it hadn't been—and it was all gummy and icky. Damn.
January 28, 2005
grumble, grumble, grumble.
Last night at pilates, the instructor was talking to my friend and I, saying, "yeah I didn't think you'd be back". Jill responded with an adamant "I'm not a quitter!", and I as usual kept my mouth shut, but was thinking a big f#*k you.
My initial reaction was that it was all about me, that this was a blanket assumption that I am like all fat women, and that all fat women quit exercise classes. Of course, that's bull. But, it's intimidating to be constantly asked to do a child's pose (where you are kneeling, sitting on your feet, and folded over the top with your arms in front of you) when you have a belly and breasts in the way. The mirrors, where you get to see exactly how huge your breasts are as you do a difficult, unflattering exercise—no thanks. I don't need that.
But I like the fact that it's hard, and so I'm back. Well, that and I paid for it!
Today is a walking rest day. I got into work early to hopefully knock out a project uninterrupted, then I'll sneak out and hit the gym for a while. That's the plan, anyways. Tomorrow, I'm going to do a long, slow 13 miles, resisting the urge to see how fast I can do this, or how many racewalking exercises I can incorporate into it. The most of the long walks this month have really not been fun, and dammit, why am I doing this if it's not fun? So tomorrow, I'm going to aim at having fun.
The shoe situation is not as I want it to be, but it's better. I pulled out the orthopedic insole and put back in the one that came with the shoe, and I pulled out the hell lift. It's much more comfortable. But still not right. I'm thinking about going and spending cash I don't have, and getting the same shoes I bought last time. Sigh. Or possibly throwing good money after bad, and getting a pair of the nu b@lance racewalkers.
January 27, 2005
tightrope walking
I walked in this morning, and I even took a longer route because I wanted a good workout. It was a very pleasant morning for walking, overcast and cool, and I left late enough that the last half of the walk was in daylight, which is so nice.
I decided since I got such a good workout from the rapid turnover exercise yesterday, that I'd do another racewalking exercise: tightrope walking. Basically, you are using your hipswing to place one foot right in line in front of the other. I really have to think about it to do it, and even then, it's hard. It involves balance, and while I'm better than I was, I still need plenty of work.
Meanwhile, I tried to keep good racewalking form, pumping the arms behind, standing up straight, holding the beer gut in, the round feet. I must have been a comic sight cuz a guy smiled at me in the way that says—that woman is nuts.
I was tired when I started, and very tired when I got into work. A good workout!
more on stress
It's scary to me how quickly and easily I get stressed. Basically, one afternoon of panic, and I sleep badly, wake with my jaws aching and just feeling exhausted. This is not okay. I have two weeks of this. I need to find a better way.
So I'm trying to find the positives. One, I'll be learning more about scripting and SQL and backend work in general. I will be able to help people in solving their problems (I have to state that in the positive, I have to believe that I can find the answers). Hopefully this will enhance my old reputation of being helpful, friendly and fast. This has really made clear to me that I believe food and alcohol have magic powers, and I need to get past that on an emotional level.
I don't really know how to get past that stress-adrenaline, but in the meantime, I'm gonna try to take good care of myself. First on the list is breathing. It sounds new age, but I forget to breathe. Embarrassingly enough, even when exercising. I've got my 32oz bottle of water on my desk, and some nuts in a drawer if I get caught unable to leave my desk again. I've chatted with my boss and we've agreed that I may just have to disappear to the gym every now and again. I'm gonna try to get up from my desk every morning and afternoon and say hi to my coworkers.
January 26, 2005
It's all uphill
Tough day today. So, the explosions, we think they might be concussion grenades, which I guess confuse people and make them easier to take into custody. But maybe it was a lab explosion—I didn't see any fire trucks, but who knows?
Hill climbing ended up being the Harrison Hill, and then the Ho Chi Minh trail (interesting name, not so interesting trail). I wanted more, more verticality, but it was a nice walk. Good company. The Harrison Hill is always towards the end of downtown races, and it hurts, but just walking it outside a race is pleasant.
I can plainly see that work is going to be an issue until I leave for Texas. I have a hard time getting out for lunch on slacker days, but it looks like there will be no slacking anytime soon. Starting today, I am covering for someone who left a big database project unfinished—and my database skills are just not that great. At one point today, I had 8 people descend upon me in the space of a half-hour, upset about forms that don't work and error messages and reports that don't report. I got the problems solved, and felt good about that, but I was unable to get any of my work done. I ended up staying an hour late.
And of course, all hell broke loose when I needed to pee, and I had wanted to go upstairs to the fridge to get my snack. This is silly, I know, but I felt that I couldn't do either until I cleaned up these crises, and so by the time I do get up, I'm practically walking funny, and I am so hungry that I would not be able to resist temptation. Luckily, there was none, but still.
People stop by to chat, say hi, and even though the crisis has passed, I am still on this adrenaline surge which is making me unable to get back into normal social behavior. Ack! This is not good.
I get outta work, and sweetie wants to eat out, and all I want to do is have a nice pint of beer or two, a burger, some fries. Ugh. When I'm happy and unstressed, it's easy to choose the right things, but I really wanted comfort, even as I knew that alcohol and a burger just shouldn't cut it. And I know that when I get stressed, I totally sink into this expectation that food and drink will unstress me. And drink does shortterm, but it does all sorts of bad things to me too.
These are the times that I wish we had something like Fran's CrossFit here, so I could do some crazy, exhausting activity, get the endorphins going, and get back to feeling human again.
extraordinary
I am an ordinary person, but I do extraordinary things.
— Jefferson Perez, 20km walk world record holder and reigning world champion
Ka-boom!
Well, it's been an interesting morning so far.
I was sitting on the couch with my first cup of coffee at about 5:40am. Echo had his head lying in my lap, and I was thumbing through a really tattered library copy of Dave McGovern's The Complete Guide to Racewalking. It couldn't be much more idyllic. And then I heard this tremendous, house-shaking boom!! boom!!. I hit the floor while all the animals started circumambulating the first floor at top speed.
Sweetie came out of the bathroom and said, what the hell was that? Well, yes, indeed, what was that? We both threw on some clothes and went outside. The next block up was cordoned off by police cars, and there were several large police truck units. Hmmm, somebody got busted.
A number of our neighbors also came out on their porches to see what was going on. Always nice to see the neighbors, and if this had happened at a more normal time, everyone would have been out.
It was a meth lab, by the looks of things.
So, I'd like to say that the police made me late this morning, though that would not be true. My inability to get going made me late. But I did get a half-hour's walk in.
I decided today to do an exercise that Philip Dunn had taught us, of taking really really absurdly tiny steps with really rapid turnover. I decided to do one block on, one block off. I found it really difficult. Among other things, the tiny steps made me feel like I was getting nowhere fast. And if I'm walking really fast with high turnover, what do I do with my arms? I kept flailing, because they weren't keeping up. (and damn it, your arms power your stride! What do you do when the arms are confused?)
It sounds very silly, but it was rather taxing. And good.
By the way, I'm not sure what you call what I did yesterday, but maybe intervals is not the right term. Basically, what I was doing was a fast lap alternating with a rest lap. I am still reeling from how much fun that was.
I am still 238, by the way. 2 pounds down, 8 to go. 17 days. Wuhoo, I can't wait! In the hopes of kicking up the intensity, and making 10 pounds by Austin, I have decided that I must do maximum incidental exercise. What this means mostly is looking for excuses to take the stairs, walk, etc. I work on the 5th floor, and our offices span multiple floors, so there are some opportunities there.
And today is Wednesday, hill climbing day! I've recruited a couple of coworkers to go with, and I'll give them the choice of doing the Harrison Hill, which is short, has a low grade and is in walking distance, or the Vista Hill, which is long, straight up, and not in walking distance. It should be big fun.
January 25, 2005
Intervals
I just got back from doing intervals at the track. Among other things, I've learned that doing them on your lunch ensures that you won't be doing much of them. Oh well. It was big fun.
My first revolution was the fastest (3:36, which translates to a 12:36 minute/mile), and the next revolution was the slowest (4:26, 15:31m/m). In all, my four revolutions (a bit over a mile) took 16:31, including the time it took for me to jot down the numbers.
I am still buzzing with euphoria. Nice!
taking measure
Yep, I ache. Legs especially. I thought pilates was about core? Oh well.
This morning as I was procrastinating, I decided to take my measurements. That was depressing. I know my right side is stronger, but I was surprised to see that both my right arm and leg are an inch bigger than their counterpart. Is that normal?
I broke my no-liquid-calories rule last night—we went to the opening night of the most incredible pizzeria outside of Italy, and they had Anchor Porter on tap. I could have resisted, but I did not. Hopefully I haven't done too much damage. Yesterday I was down by 2 pounds—it'll be interesting to see what it looks like today.
I'm hoping to get to the track on my lunch to do some intervals. Wish me luck, please!
January 24, 2005
Gym
Perhaps I am too quick to condemn the shoe-trio. Perhaps. Walking the block and a half to the gym, I realized my legs feel tired, new muscles sore, and my feet are especially so. I had conveniently forgotten that I had done 15 or 20 minutes of balance exercises yesterday, which are all about the feet. Ouch.
I haven't been to the gym pilates class since I started my evening one, but I really wanted to go back. The evening class seems to be the same exercises over and over. The same exercises that kick my ass over and over again, but still. There was a new-to-me instructor who was tough, tough, tough, and the room was filled to capacity with many, many pilates newbies (how weird that I am not a pilates newbie).
So I did what I could, and made the effort, and I am sure I will begin hurting any minute now.
The woman on the mat next to me had the most incredible legs. I mean, really incredible. I thought about telling her so, but then I feared that she might think it was a come-on. And yet, I really appreciate when I get that sort of compliment. In the end, I did nothing.
damn shoes
Yesterday, I spent most of the day verbally beating myself up. I want to do the marathon, I want to do the marathon, I want to do the marathon, why the hell did I sign up for the half? People do marathons without sufficient training all the time (but do they weigh 240? do they have ridiculously tender feet?).
Meanwhile, we did some unheroic but necessary stuff like buying a piece of plywood and cutting it to size to stuff under the couch cushions. Eh, voila, we again have a couch, bravo! No more soul- or butt-sucking couch! I cleaned, I exercycled, I cleaned some more. All the while listening to the two yelling voices in my head.
Angel voice: Now you can train for speed! Do intervals! Do some long slow distances! You'll be really prepared! There'll be none of this walking-funny around Sweetie's dad.
Devil voice: Who cares about that? What about that "there is no try" phrase? Here all these people thought you were made of stronger stuff, and you've revealed yourself to be the poseur you are. Now everyone knows you're a pansy-ass. Or maybe they knew that all along...
Meanwhile, this morning I went to the dentist and found out I need 8 fillings. 8! After all this clean living, daily flossing of teeth, and using the soniscare. Essentially, my gums look a lot better, my teeth, eh, not so much.
And in walking a couple blocks from the dentist's to the bus stop, I came to this conclusion: this walking shoe-insole-heel lift combination sucks. It makes walking unpleasant. No wonder I was flagging after a couple miles on Saturday—I was flagging after just a block this morning. Ugh.
Now I'm changed into dress shoes—which feel better. Dress shoes!
January 23, 2005
persistence
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and Determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "Press On", has solved and will always solve the problems of the human race.
—Calvin Coolidge
January 22, 2005
The big build up
I don't know how far I walked this morning. My guess is, 12 miles. It started out good—an amazing sunrise, a rainbow, seeing Mela start her waterfront run. My first mile was a relaxed, comfortable 13:05—I had no idea I could go that fast. After seeing Mela, I had this intense burst of joy, feeling like my body couldn't contain it.
But by the time I hit Willamette Park, about 3 miles in, my toes were complaining about hitting the end of the shoes on the toe offs. I tightened the laces. By about 4 and a half miles, I had a hot spot forming on the ball of my right foot—right where the giant blister had got me during the Portland Marathon.
By mile 7, I was miserable. By 9, I was limping.
As I was making the loop, I kept thinking: I could change my shoes (if I had another pair with me). I could walk tomorrow. Yeah, everything will be better tomorrow.
Now, I've had just dinner with a couple margaritas. I think I had a shoe malfunction. At least, I had new socks (which I thought were Wright Socks Coolmesh but were in fact Wright Socks Running), new insoles, a new 12mm heel lift, and of course, new shoes. And my feet were intensely unhappy.
In thinking about this, I had wanted to do another marathon so I could do it right. During the Portland Marathon, I had had the miserable giant blister, and then I had hit the wall and not recognized that it was the wall. And because of this and my own mishegas, I finished just under 9 hours.
But doing the Austin marathon will not be doing it right, not when I missed a month of training, and the last couple long longwalks have been unhappy affairs. I want to be in shape, I want to be ready, I want to enjoy it, and at this point in time, I'm not there. I may wish I was there, but I'm not. Wishing, unfortunately, doesn't make it so.
So while there is part of me that is inconsolable, tonight I signed up for the half-marathon. I can train for that, perhaps PR, and hopefully have a great time. It really doesn't sound as cool as training for a marathon, but there are plenty of those in the future. My ego will have to get over it.
And physically, I don't feel too bad. I ice-bathed when I got home, then had a good nap, which always helps. I bruised the tops of both feet, and my right hamstring is unhappy, of course. But I don't walk too funny, and I wasn't uncomfortable sitting in the fancy mexican restaurant with its marquis de sade chairs.
Yeah, what he said, but about walking
Walking is the ultimate individual sport. It doesn't matter how fast or slow you are relative to anyone else. You set your own pace and you measure your own progress. You can't lose this race because you're not walking against anyone else. You're only walking against yourself, and as long as you are walking, you are winning.
—Amby Burfoot, RW executive editor and winner of the 1968 Boston Marathon
emphasis and word change mine (original said running, natch)
January 21, 2005
leaping in the dark
We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success.
—Henry David Thoreau
Move along...
Yesterday, other than pilates, I didn't accomplish anything exercise-wise. I didn't even make it to the gym to drop off magazines. But I did get new walking shoes, and am thinking about going back to get another pair.
I lusted over running clothes. So cute! Why are they denied to me?
To further add insult to injury, when I caught the bus, the driver made the bus kneel. As if I couldn't step up! Am I that fat?
Anyways. Tomorrow is the acid-test, tomorrow I decide if I will be marathoning or half-marathoning in 21 short days. Today I rest, hydrate, and have unparalleled access to carbohydrates. Tonight, I'll stock up on ice and materials for egg sandwiches. We are already well-equipped with chocolate milk (yes, it breaks the no liquid calories rule. Who cares? I'll have a margarita with dinner too, just cuz).
In the interest of science, I share with you my exceptional yet humble egg sandwich, which is inspired by the same at Grand Central Bakery:
Egg Sandwich
One egg
One bolo roll
2 slices Canadian bacon
1 slice pepper-jack cheese
Fry the canadian bacon, then set aside. Cut bolo in half, and toast. Cook egg in your favorite method until lightly set (over-easy)*. Place cheese, then bacon, then egg on the bolo. Serve immediately, preferably to a naked person in a bathtub (cuz this is messy).
* The usual caveats about undercooked eggs are offered here.
January 20, 2005
forefathers endorse walking
Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very fast.
—Thomas Jefferson
Acheyness--you call it flu, I call it progress
Well, it seems like the exercise of the last couple days has caught up with me. My legs feel all muscular, and there's this little part of my butt that is seriously sore. But the whole of my lower body seems ever-so-slightly achey—the sign of a good workout. Or workouts.
Last night I began my implementation of Outside's recommendations. One of them was walking 20 minutes after dinner. I figure I'm getting plenty of walking already, so I've decided I'll exercycle instead. Doing the intervals—man, that kicks my butt. Literally.
Actually, I'm feeling the acheyness in my shoulders and arms too. Oh, and my belly. My belly actually feels solid—not like a bag of styrofoam peanuts.
I then did my hamstring exercises, much to the amusement of the sweetie and the animals. Echo, especially, was very disturbed about the floor exercises, and the cats all had to come up and sniff me. I bought a 55cm balance ball over the weekend, and all inflated it's much less than 55cm. [Really, it sucks. And this I paid $30 for? It's going back] And so soft that doing the balance work is a laugh riot. Really, my balance is so bad, there's no reason to add insult to injury.
This morning, I did an extended walk to the bus stop, and that's it. Maybe something tonight. Oh yeah, pilates—wonder why I'm blocking that out?
January 19, 2005
longevity
How do you live a long life? Take a two-mile walk every morning before breakfast.
—Harry S. Truman
pilates, walking, chachacha
Well, I pilated last night. I walked about a half hour this morning, hoping in vain that I would be able to squeeze in a hill workout. No can do. I got to the gym and did some chin-ups and some other excruciatingly slow heavy stuff. And now, you would never even know I had breakfast, I'm so hungry. I'm about to go into a catered meeting, but I'm eating some youghurt in the hopes of not eating a ton of junk. Wish me luck...
Oh. And so far, it's Liquid Calories 1, VJ 0. I had a glass of wine while trying to convince iTunez to bend to my will (which it didn't).
January 18, 2005
10 pounds by Austin
(shout it like No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn!)
Susan wrote recently about an Outside article/thingee that argues that losing 10 pounds will improve your marathon time by 11 minutes. How cool is that?!
There are 25 days (!!!!) til Freescale.
The liquid calories will be the hard part. It always is. Last night I had a couple seasonal beers that were just so yummy.
What a difference a day makes
Talk about strange. This morning it was balmy. It's 58 degrees out right now. So, unlike last night, unlike any time recently, I was out in short sleeves. Crazy!
I walked in without the heartrate monitor, without the Ganderman. Just walked. I have no idea how long it took me. It felt really good, good to be out, moving, under my own power.
Last week, there was a spot on the Eastbank Esplanade where someone had stenciled 4 small birds. The detail was incredible, and the effect was very cool. Of course when I saw it, I didn't have my camera. This morning, I didn't have it either, but it didn't matter, as the stencil had already been removed.
January 17, 2005
The Chris Brogan Oracle
Today was a day off for me, so I spent the morning pining for the outside world from the couch, watching TV and reading blogs. As usual, I'm catching up on everyone's entries for the week, and I run across this one from Chris. He mentions feeling better about saying he's training for an ultra rather than to lose some weight, and man, I totally know what he's talking about.
The idea of training for a marathon is so cool! Dieting, how vain is that? The reality of training for a marathon, in the winter in Oregon, not so much.
I spent the morning moping, being sad, etc. A lot of good that did. Finally, in the afternoon, I did some housecleaning, dunging out some drawers, and then I went for a walk.
It was overcast and sprinkling for most of the walk. I went from my place to Alameda Blvd, and followed that til 57th Street. I went up 57th until Fremont, to make 4 miles. Then I doubled back. Because I had done some goofing off (looking in the windows of houses for sale), it didn't end up being quite 8 miles.
I was soaked through by the turn-around, and at that point I noticed that I didn't have my ip0d. It's just not that important when I'm outside, and I had a bunch of emotional stuff I needed to process anyways.
I noticed a number of beautiful, decrepit old houses along 57th. I love decrepit houses, and of course, I tend to forget that I don't have the resources to rescue them, but I love to daydream about them. Houses along 57th wouldn't do, anyways—it's a big street, and while Daphne the outdoor cat is very smart, I don't want to test her.
Coming back, I was full of all sorts of complaints. My toes hurt, my feet were wet, I was cold, my hankie was soaked through, blahblahblah. Vicki, get over yerself!
Much to my surprise, I did a negative split to the tune of about 45 seconds a mile. Wuhoo! I did a leisurely pace, mostly because I was hoping to get out of my funk.
My enthusiasm is down. Maybe I've bit off too much, maybe I need some downtime, I don't know. But I'm feeling like I've set some goals that are too high. Momentarily today, I thought about going to Austin, and not doing a race there. Just kicking back and having a vacation. But I really want to do a race there, at least my ego wants to do a race there.
hips
I've had a realization. My hips are smaller.
Mind you, I have no idea what their measurement is. My waist is 42", so we can be certain that my hips are still, by any stretch of the imagination, very large. But, the other day, in the dark, I put on a hoodie, and it was a hoodie I hadn't worn probably since last spring. Back then, it collected around my hips—now it hangs freely.
I grabbed a bath towel and pulled it around my waist. I tied it there, and realized that it completely covered my hips. I remember when I first started going to the gym in the spring, and none of my towels would connect at the waist enough to secure them, and none would cover my hips. Dang! This is exciting stuff.
January 16, 2005
cabin fever
Thank you all for your kind comments. You know the worst part? Well, there are so many worst parts, but one of them was that the treadmill had a 60 minute limit. So, I ended up breaking the workout into 3 mile segments, which meant after every three miles, I had to start again. It was just one opportunity to quit after another.
The streets are finally getting passable, now that it's almost evening. I have just a wee bit of cabin fever. Nothing like a little ice storm. I have so wanted to go outside for a walk, to the store, to get a bite to eat. But no tree limbs have fallen, and we haven't lost electricity—just haven't been able to leave the house.
I haven't been able to accomplish anything today. I think I spent three hours half-heartedly looking up online patterns for shrugs (which are arm warmers with a connector across the back), and running through TiVoed stuff. Oh, and medicinally eating chocolate (Chocolove 65% Rich Dark Chocolate, and Peet's Major Dickason's).
January 15, 2005
Treadmill
When I got up, the pavement was dry. By the time I left the house, the freezing rain had begun in earnest.
So, I went and did the 11 miles on the treadmill. I managed to leave the ip0d and reading material at home. Ack. So I positioned myself right in front of the plateglass window, in view of the TVs. I had a bad attitude almost immediately, so I had to play the gratitude game.
I was grateful
- that I could do the walk at all
- that I could watch the hysterical local Storm! coverage showing pileups and warning everyone to stay home
- that I had such good access to washrooms
- that someone had left a 1999 Muscle & Fitness, a Metal Mania!, and a well-loved, almost completely destroyed Esquire
Every half hour or so, a clump of people would walk by. They all had id badges and portland tourist maps and umbrellas from a local casino. It took me about 7 miles to recognize that they were attending the US Figure Skating Championships. (Hey, welcome to Portland. A competitor will be injured and her mother killed coming from the airport, and then the city will be gripped in an ice storm and everything will come to a complete halt)
I had to bargain with myself. I was bored and my pain tolerance was low or non-existent, and I really wanted to just quit and go home after mile 3 (mile 3!!). But I finished.
January 14, 2005
skort fever
So, Terry Bicycles is having their year-end clothing sale, and I, ever so slightly, lost my mind. I got a couple of XL skorts and a 2x one, which came in the mail just now.
What I have learned, other than I should not be trusted with a credit card near a computer, is that I am not yet an XL. In fact, I'm a ways from an XL. But I got some cool things to grow into!
rah! rah! rah!
Today's my rest day, which is nice, because my legs hurt like hell. In pilates last night, we did a lot of leg & glute work. Oh, I know, it's all about your abs, but it sure as hell didn't feel like it then or now. And this after feeling so good and strong and able, after having a good weight-lifting and hamstring session. Oh well.
It's looking like we'll have a real January weekend. Tonight, it's supposed to snow and then we get the freezing rain, and if this happens, everything will be paralyzed for the whole long weekend, and things will be back to normal, say, Monday afternoon.
I just want to do my 11 mile walk tomorrow. Outside. With no ice. (and then have breakfast out afterwards). Is that too much to ask?
January 13, 2005
ultra?
I read about this last night in the ORRC newsletter:
March MUDness Run 2005
March 26th, 2005
50K/100K
Portland, OR
blessing
An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.
—Henry David Thoreau
my jeans
I have a couple pair of size 22 jeans. Voila, my last plateau, maybe five years ago. Back then, they were snug—the sort of jeans you think twice about wearing when you were going to be sitting alot or going out to eat in.
Today I am wearing one of those pairs, and I just realized that I can slide them over my hips without unfastening them. Oh my gosh.
I weigh about 5 pounds more than I did then, but boy, do clothes fit different. I wish I were seeing these sorts of changes on my upper body, though. I may have to do some clothes shopping before Austin. :)
January 12, 2005
hill climbing
Well, it seems all the hill climbing that one lunch hour will allow is 20 minutes. I ran to the MAX train, only to learn that there was a car fire on the tracks, and we weren't going anywhere until the fire department had dealt with it. So I walked up a couple stops, hoping to just pass it, as there were three trains in plain sight, waiting ahead of us.
Things finally started moving, so I jumped on a train. The car had been dragged over into the auto traffic lane, and was a blackened lump of former car.
I finally got the Goose Hollow stop, started my heart monitor, and began. I went south on 18th (a very gradual hill), then west on Mill Street Terrace (which is pretty much straight up) to the end. There's a staircase in someone's yard that goes a couple three flights up to Vista. And then I headed towards Council Crest.
Since I was dependent on the bus getting me back to work on time, I walked as far as I could before seeing the bus, which was Clifton Street. 19:56. A little more than .6 of a mile. I was sweating and panting up a storm. Can't wait to do it again.
Not surprisingly, my hamstrings and glutes were pretty sore that night.
blah blah blah
Pilates last night. Walked in in the freezing cold (35 degrees!). Brrrr! I tried wearing the ganderman again today, and, I need to find the booklet and sit down and program the damn thing. I couldn't figure out how to set it up for a new, um, thingee/walk/etc. Please don't tell me, I am going to be so embarrassed when I learn how easy it undoubtably is.
Anyways, from what I can tell, I did a less than 14 minute/mile pace. That sounds too good to be true.
The last thing I heard on the iPod this morning was Running Bear (loves Little White Dove) by Stiff Little Fingers. Damn, I am never going to be able to get that out of my head.
Wednesday will always be Prince Spaghetti Day, but I am going to try to also make it Hill Workout Day. I'm going to go to the Vista Hill and do as much straight-up vertical hill climbing as one lunch hour will allow.
I think Marshall, in his comment, is right. I need to chill out, do my walks, follow the original plan, and see how it goes. If I'm feeling good in my 11 mile walk this weekend, that will be a very good sign.
January 11, 2005
Artist's Choice™
Marshall had set up his own Artist's Choice list. This is the soundtrack of my cheer-me-up playlist:
1. LEN - Steal my Sunshine
2. Stereolab - Super-electric
3. Bob and Marcia - Young, gifted and black
4. Tricky - Black Steel (the PE original is brilliant too)
5. Belle & Sebastian - The State I'm in
6. Velocity Girl - Tales of Brave Aphrodite
7. The Bats - Courage
8. Jevetta Steele (J.D. Steele Singers) - How shall I see you through my tears (Gospel at Colonus)
9. Les Nubians - Les Portes du Souvenir
10. Breeders - Divine Hammer
11. Grupo Fiesta - Todo Para Ti
12. Graham Parsons - The Madness of Love
13. Magnetic Fields - 10,000 fireflies
14. P18 - La Verdolaga
15. They Might Be Giants - Birdhouse in your soul
16. Bloque - La Pluma
17. Mahotella Queens, Eddi Reader - Daphne (1 Giant Leap)
18. American Music Club - Dreamers of the Dream
19. Wilco - Should have been in love
20. Juanes - Fotografia
21. Gustavo Cerati - Te llevo para que me lleves
22. Jeff Buckley/Gary Lucas (Gods and Monsters) - Farewell Angelina
23. Tribalistas (Arnaldo Antunes, Carlinhos Brown, Marisa Monte) - Ja Sei Namorar
facts and figures
Nice morning, sunny, cold. Like really cold. Like grass is crispy and puddles are frozen cold.
I decided to wear the Ganderman (sweetie and my name for the g@rmin) in today and learned some interesting things. One, it's 3.5 miles in to work (I had thought it was about 3). I made it in in 39 minutes (according to the ganderman), which breaks down to a less than a 12 minute mile. Huh? That's not possible. I mean, really, that's not possible. Sheesh, I wish! I think that it was autopausing just a bit too much.
My legs felt like lead. I still don't really have a plan, or a coach. I will do the half at Austin if it comes down to it, but oh my gosh, my heart is set on the full marathon. I'm going to start looking under some new rocks for a coach.
I decided also to weigh myself with all my crap on -- clothes, ipod, backpack. Essentially, these things add 20# to my weight.
January 10, 2005
I'm feeling better
Everything is looking up. The sky is clear and full of stars and planets. Full of possibility.
I went to see the sports therapist and the chiropractor tonight. The sports guy was happy with my progress, and didn't seem to think that I had done anything other than earn myself a rest day with my weekend hijinks. I graduated—his word—to a new set of exercises and stretches. I thought about begging him for marathon advice, but then I was struck by how hard the exercises were, and I forgot.
Not to worry. I asked the chiropractor. And he said, with the usual caveats, that he thought I'd have no problems. In the best of all circumstances, blah blah blah—but I have done this before. My hamstring/knee injury is healing nicely, totally in spite of me—I just needed to be going out there and doing it, and then being sure that I had the best possible rest time. Okay.
I felt about 20# lighter leaving the office. Okay. Maybe I haven't screwed everything up.
Decafalon
—The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
from The Washington Post's Style Invitational, July 26, 1998
Blegh
I'm trying to get myself out of my funk. I will get myself out of my funk. I will. I am.
(Does that sound convincing?)
Last night, I dreamt that my mother wouldn't speak to me. (I also dreamt of a room nook closed off my curtains—there you go, Sara!) The whole situation makes me feel sour.
So why don't I do something that will raise my endorphins, make me feel good? I overdid it yesterday. Went for a little walk with good company, and buzzed on the compliments from the masseuse about how athletic I am, and my own wanting to impress others about how athletic I am, and my own wanting to ignore the fact that I had a disappointing walk the day before... I overdid it. I really have to take today as a rest day.
The reservations are made for Austin and Houston. I sent out two frantic emails yesterday begging for help and assistance. The racewalking coach is out of town til next week, so I dropped a note to someone else, who I also haven't heard from.
I did have a nice massage, and it was nice that she massaged my ego as well. Perhaps she does that with all of her clients, but she was full of, wow, you're really strong, oh, you're covered with muscles... Which is nice to hear.
January 9, 2005
30K-not
Ugh. This is painful to write but I have to write it. I DNF my 30K. Mind you, it was the VJ-invitational-Springwater Corridor, with a field of one, but I still did not finish.
I was slowing down around mile 10, and feeling like really quitting around 11. (Stopping at the house to use the washroom probably did not help this). By 13, I was reminding myself that this was all mental, that my body was unhappy but still going, and at 14, I decided to bail.
I had thought about the difference between now and say, November. Hmmm. In November, I was training. I wasn't as religious as I should have been about it, but at least I was out there most weekends. Whereas... did I train at all in December? Oh, I was really good about getting that walk in on weekdays, but no long walks.
So, now I have a decision to make. It's looking impossible to do the full marathon at Austin (okay, if I am being pessimistic, let me know--I just don't think I have the mileage in right now), which breaks my heart. It's our excuse to go to Austin, which both of us, sweetie and I, have had our hearts set on. I've told people at work (because I've had to ask people to move their deadlines), friends, you guys. It makes me so thoroughly upset, and I keep thinking, is there some way I can do this? Could I get personal training with the racewalking coach and have her design a 4 week plan? That seems like insanity!
If there is good news in here, it's that I feel pretty good this morning physically. My right hamstring is bugging me, which is nothing new. Otherwise, I just feel a little achey. So it could be worse.
January 7, 2005
First Run
Well, the resolution isn't very good on this, but here's a pic from New Year's Eve—um, NYD.
sleepyhead
Such a rainy, miserable day just makes me want to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head. Maybe that explains why I overslept.
I walked about 25 minutes, waiting for the bus. I have all these new muscles that I'm finding, some of which I had no desire to find, but they are all making themselves known. That's good. Evidence of work done.
I did my pilates class again last night. I am certain that the instructor is physically present, but it seems mentally a million miles away. I guess I didn't sign up for a beginners pilate class or a reality-based pilates class, I just signed up to do the work twice a week. And I am.
The people watching is very interesting. As usual, I'm the fattest person there, that's fine. But there are a number of chubby women, which always pleases me. And then a couple women who look like they used to dance with the Oregon Ballet. (I really want to hate them, but I can't) There are even a couple men, who appear to have taken the class before.
I keep having these awful dreams, and I identified that the theme seems to be security or lack thereof. Last nights was being in a rental house that appeared to have locking doors and windows, but actually the locks didn't work. And of course, men were trying to get in. It was just me and Echo, and Echo couldn't be bothered to bark. Of course, I think I was trying to hide as well. I'm not sure I want to know what that means.
Tomorrow is the 30K walk, which hopefully will be outside, not in the rain, not on a gym treadmill or around my downstairs. (Though, gosh, the washroom availability inside is superb). I feel like such a faker. I suppose it would do me some good to walk in the rain, because, who knows, sooner or later I will have to race in the rain. But it doesn't mean I have to like it.
Oh, and no snow. Dammit!
Sara commented about Adrienne Salinger's book, Living Solo. One of the profiles does substantial walks within his house—which made me think of Richard, who started his trek towards running by walking around his house. I believe he lost a pile of weight that way too.
medicine
A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world.
—Dr. Paul Dudley White
January 6, 2005
completely unrelated to anything virtuous
Have you done your Google suggest ranking? Jerry has the rules, etc. (via Anita)
I came up with nada trying on different variants of my name or this blogs name. The acronym for my workplace came up 3.1.1, the full name 10.3.1 (the first word is really common). alt.portland is 6.8.1
Okay, back to your regularly scheduled programming...
quick fixes
I'd like to tell you of all the heroic things that I've done, like walking to school in feet of snow, uphill, both ways, but there is no heroism here. I woke up in the middle of another disturbing dream, was a good girl and got up, but ended up mentally dozing for awhile while drinking my coffee and water. I spent a lot of mental energy on—oh, this is sad—lunch.
I paid all my bills early (not a stated goal, but definitely a goal all the same) which is great, but the resulting bank balance reminded me why I tend to drag my feet with this stuff. So, I shouldn't be eating out at lunch. But I am finding myself addicted to the whole wheat tortilla-brown rice & black beans-chicken burrito, which also makes me feel quite virtuous. And as I ran through all of my options, I wasn't able to come up with one that was meeting my goals of eating well and not spending (much? any?) money. Instead of letting it go, I kept looping through. Like I said, I wasn't mentally awake.
Last night, I went to see the sports chiro, which was great. He found a new muscle that was strung tighter than a guitar string, and told me that my skin felt better, healther, than my last visit. I thought about whatever could cause that. I've been eating better. I had showered that morning. I had worked out that day. Who knows? I had done plenty of stuff wrong, too, like forgetting to drink water, and having had a couple glasses of wine after pilates. Oh well.
He started talking about a cleansing diet that a lot of clients are on which de-toxifies the liver, and he's on it this year too. So initially in the interest of being polite, I asked about it. I guess the main thing is that you eliminate these four things that many people are allergic to: corn, dairy, gluten, and something else, which I don't remember. My immediate reaction was, oh my gosh, how would I live without dairy and gluten! In the four weeks of my life that I managed to go vegan, an asian meal with gluten (seitan is another name) was the highlight of the week.
I am easily swayed, however, and by the end of the conversation (which included such phrases as "preparing your body to lose weight more easily and quickly"), I thought this might be an okay thing.
And this morning, feeling tired and not terribly motivated, I thought—what if a cleansing diet fills me with energy? What if this allows me to spring out of bed like Athena from Zeus's head? And of course, the effortless (or so it looks from here) weightloss.
Hello, earth to VJ: too good to be true! Hello!
The other thing is just purely selfish. I love food. Hell, I'm part of a food group. Sure, I bet some food causes me to be sniffly and stuffy and gassy and otherwise unpleasant, but do I really want to eliminate foods that I love (like charcoal gluten)? The good doc mentioned that he's allergic to corn, which he never believed until he did a cleansing diet a while back, but it did sound like he still eats some—he just actively makes the choice. And maybe that isn't so bad.
I am curious about this, and maybe, big maybe, I'll try it after Austin.
glory
Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory.
—William Barclay
January 5, 2005
pilates afterburn
Earlier, as Jill and I were walking to lunch, my belly gave off a pleasant ache, like, wow, nice workout last night.
Just a few minutes ago, I bent over to grab something, and my belly went into a full cramp.
Am I going to end up having a romantic evening with IcyHot©?
thinking
All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.
—Friedrich Nietzsche
helix
It's clear and cold today in Portland. Really cold, for here. It was 27 degrees at 7 with 11mph winds when I started walking to work (I can't find the wind chill info online, but right now, it's 30 degrees with a 7mph wind, and a 23 degree windchill), and let's just say that it becomes much easier to walk fast and furiously pump your arms when you're underdressed and it's frigid outside.
(I know I'm getting soft, living here in Portland where it generally doesn't get too hot or too cold or too icy. So be it. I'm soft!)
I walked as far as the MAX train and came up on the platform just as a train was pulling up. A man saw me coming, and went to the door and swung his legs across the sensor so the door would stay open. Oh my gosh, that man is the nicest man on earth! Well, okay, there are several other men that I definitively know rank among the nicest men on earth, but I'm willing to nominate this guy too.
After that, went to the gym, hamstring blah blah blah.
Last night was my first of the nighttime pilates classes that I'm taking with Jill. The first order of business was finding the place, which involved walking around the parking structure and finding the helix. Now, when the security guy said helix, I was like, whaaaa? Come to find out, I guess that's the circular entrance or exit ramp in a parking structure. Live and learn. So, we finally find the class, and we're still early, but the class has already started. Whaaaa?
Suffice to say, it was 45 minutes of unpleasantness, made worse by my place right in front of the mirror. You know. The instructor cracks me up, and she breaks the mat exercises down into parts, which I appreciate a lot. But I have lots of work to do. (No news there)
This morning, the office is gripped with snow hysteria. The weatherman predicts snow on Thursday night to some insane degree, like a foot. We all get like little kids at the thought of it, and everyone is talking about the groceries they're going to stock up on, and what they're going to do while they're stuck in the house. I don't know what to think—I love snow, but I gots to get that 30K in this weekend, and it'll be kinda crazy to try to walk it in the house. Doable, but really crazy.
January 4, 2005
Results for Y2K5
pace: 16:43
time: 1:43:38
place: 144/149 total
66/70 women
9/9 age group
Wow. So, two minutes a mile slower. Damn. Now I know I lost some time waiting for a portapottie, and, hey, I knew I wasn't moving so fast. Plenty to work on, yep.
my 10Ks:
2004-12-12 Red-nosed Run Deer 1:30:50.3
2005-01-02 Y2K5 1:43:38 16:43
2004-08-01 Run Hit Wonder 1:47:19 17:16
Goals
I can remember walking as a child. It was not customary to say you were fatigued. It was customary to complete the goal of the expedition.
— Katharine Hepburn
January 2, 2005
new years resolutions
I've been thinking about goals and new years resolutions lately. I have been setting goals, which I think is useful, but I haven't come up with new years resolutions in, well, years. But everyone is talking about them...
So. I need to make resolutions about weight loss, walking, other exercise, professional development, and home.
Chris mentioned Jaime's Really Useful Fitness Blog today, and in particular, the entry on weight loss resolutions worth making, which talks about larger goals broken down into achievable pieces. S/he also has some suggestions on how you could lose some weight (no soft drinks, no fried foods, regular exercise, lots and lots of water).
- Weight-loss: Aim for a consistent, conservative weight-loss of a pound and a half a week (6# per month): 72# by 2006! Or, if I can manage 7# a month, 84# by 2006. That would put me at 170#, or 158#.
I'd like to be able to buy women's fitness clothing in "normal" sizes (s-XL). I'd like to shop at non-plus sized stores.
I initially thought: one meal a week I get to eat whatever I want. Soft drinks, fast food, fried food, pizza, beer, whatever. The rest of the week: eat high-fiber, high-quality, whole grain, non-processed foods. Drink only wine, and not to excess.
This shouldn't be too bad. I drink soft drinks really infrequently these days. I almost never eat fast food (though I've had some a couple times in the last week). Fried food, french fries in particular, is something I love, and that will be hard to cut back on. But I don't eat fried food daily anymore. Pizza is our instant meal food; we just need to stock the pantry with good stuff. Beer, I love, but I can cut back.
I thought this until I went out for happy hour with some pals. And I was overcome with the desire to really go nuts—eat and drink everything in sight—because I was going to be restricted.
Okay, I am not going to restrict. It's a good idea to try to eat and drink better, but I'm going to leave it at that.
Obviously, weight-loss will be aided by exercise.
- Walking: I'd like to drop 2 minutes a mile. I'd like to do a PR with a 12 minute mile.
By May, I should be down to a 13.5 minute mile. By October, a 12.5 minute mile.
Is this doable? Who knows? My best PR these days is 14:30, so that's really more like a 2 minutes 30 seconds drop. But, assuming I get faster via long slow distance, improving my hamstring and glutes strength, interval training, and most importantly, losing weight, it might be doable. If it isn't, it'll sure be fun trying. I'm planning on a walking workout 4 days a week, with a long walk once a week (usually on a weekend)
- Other exercise: I'd like to work on balance, shape and strength. I need to work on strengthening the balance of my right side. I'd like to walk or bike to work three days a week. I'd like to weight-lift twice a week. I'd like to do two group classes a week. I'd like to do a decent bike ride once a month. I'm planning on some sort of workout 6 days a week.
This should be doable. I do walk or bike to work a couple days a week. I haven't been weight-lifting and I miss it. I'm signed up to do two pilates classes a week through April. Slug Velo is monthly.
- Professional Development: I feel, well, not terribly excited about this. I'm rather underwhelmed by both library science (the degree I just got, and that I've just started paying for) and web design (which I make my living at). But that said: browse the LIS trade magazines when they come out. Work through an O'Reilly (or other quality) book every two months.
- Home: I'm tired of living in a place that I feel embarrassed to have drop-in guests at. I will use a limited version of flylady to try to control clutter and filth in my home. Pretty straightforward: pick up after myself. Don't let clutter happen, and when it does, attack quickly.
- I finally got my depression under control, and found that I had energy again.
- I finished my graduate program with a 3.9
- I lost 25#
- I started a walking program
- I started weight-lifting again
- I reshaped my body
- I did at least one race every month from June 2004 forward
- I did 3 5Ks, a 6 miler, 2 10Ks, 3 half marathons, and one full marathon
- I started riding my bicycle in August (after a 16 year hiatus after being doored by a car)
- I organized my work's Bike Commute Challenge and commuted to work at least 21 times
- I started attending a twice a month pilates class.
- I've dropped 3 pant sizes
Y2K5
There was ice on the road, but it became sunny once I got to Forest Grove, and warm. I ended up wearing just a short-sleeved shirt under a long-sleeved faux bike jersey.
The start and end of the race was at an elementary school, and so the packet pickup, if it could be called that, was in the lunch room. I work in education, but I can't remember the last time I went into a school. It was kinda fun to see all the scaled down stuff, including toilets. I picked up my number, and my fleece vest(!), which had pockets so I immediately put it on.
In the bathroom, in a stall, I dropped my water bottle. "Hey, I haven't even passed you yet, and you're already throwing things at me!," said the woman in the next stall. Another auspicious sign—these folks are competitive. I didn't stand a chance.
Back in the lunchroom, I did a look-see. Anyone I recognized? Nope. Anyone as fat as me? Nope (though some women my size did come in a few minutes later). Anyone with metallic gold nail polish? Nope, just me.
The race started with the 10 & 20Kers together. Ice was still on the road. As usual, I started a little fast, and realized that I would be in a bad way at the end—especially if I had to listen to the women ahead of me complain about the gifts their kids had gotten. I don't know why it irritated me so much, but it did. I hung back.
Forest Grove is a little agricultural town, with a center that revolves around a small liberal arts university. As we walked through town, there were plenty of beautiful and decrepit houses to look at. After a mile and a half, we were out in farm land, walking by growers who produce bushes and trees and christmas trees, by farms with black chickens, geese, cows, dogs, and a house with a pond which had its own blue heron. Blue herons are gorgeous birds, but to pond owners, they're a big nuisance, as they can clean out a pond of koi almost overnight. This blue heron stood right at the edge of the pond, waiting for the right fish to appear.
Before I even hit the one mile marker, I was having trouble. I was having a case of weak-knee-syndrome (my name), which I assume has to do with my problematic hamstrings. Anyways, if I tried to walk correctly (toes up, swing from the hips, etc), as I would go through my stride, the right knee would feel like it couldn't bear my weight. This didn't happen with each right step, but it happened often enough to be very unsettling.
But still, it was gorgeous. Heading west, we saw the Coast mountain chain, and heading east, Mount Hood. And while most of the route was flat, there were some hills, including one at the 6 mile marker which went straight up. A volunteer called out that I looked fabulous, and I asked if it was my nails, flashing my hands at him. "Oh my gosh, yes!", he said, off-guard.
I finished, unofficially, at 1:35 according to my watch, and 1:43 according to theirs. No chip for this race, so I'll be curious what my "final" time will be. I'm pretty certain I was not the last one, which of course pleases me to no end. I stopped in for some pancakes, and finally recognized someone—an older man who does lots of races. I signed up for a membership, bought some flasher lights, and started making the long journey home. Luckily, I had brought some of that yummy un-homogenized chocolate milk with me!
courage
The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.
—John Bingham
Sunday morning
I am still rather underwhelmed by the thought of the Y2K. It's 33 degrees in Forest Grove, about an hour away, with a really good chance of rain. I just looked at the results from last year's race, and—well, why the hell didn't I look it this before I signed up? The last people who came in, came in with a 14:12 minute mile. Now, I know that one of the PFit walking ACs is now involved in the group, and that she is trying to motivate more walkers to participate—but she is super-fast, Marshall-fast even. I don't know that I would have done the Red Nosed Run Deer if I had known I'd be last, and that was a race I was excited about.
January 1, 2005
what I did over 2004
I've been thinking about this last year, and kinda dismissing it, as I had no resolutions or goals. But I did accomplish some stuff this year.
I do have some goals for 2005, which I've been working on for days, and perhaps will be ready for public consumption soon?
5Ks - short and sweet
Well, today has been a blur of sleeping and eating. A completely wasted day. My plans of cleaning up the upstairs built-in—well, completely undone.
I'm feeling a bit better about last night, though. I had felt like I had been so slow, but really, that was the second fastest 5K I've done:
14:53 2004-10-24 The Great Pumpkin Chase
15:07 2005-01-01 The First Run
15:17 2004-07-29 Columbia Classic
16:07 2004-09-19 Race for the Cure
So, I'm trying to cut myself a little break. And, I'm planning to do the Y2K, even though I'm not sure that I'll know anyone there.
Lara was writing in her resolutions that she was going to be facing her fears and doing it anyways, and gosh, good for her. I need to let fear dictate less of my life as well. Right now, I am having a bit of fear of being slow and last and alone at the Y2K as I'm not going with anyone and will I know anyone? There's a pancake breakfast afterwards that I'd love to go to, but will I freak and hit the road right after the race?
I've wanted to have a random quote at the top of the blog since before I started it, and at least, now I'm collecting some quotes and I'm glad you guys are liking them. I've just been jotting them down when I see them, or googling for them. And, now, Marshall has a quote page as well as the random quote. Cool! This one below really resonated for me:
... in all of life's little emergencies [there is] one question unceasingly humming in the mental background: When am I going to get my miles in?
—Scott Douglas
The First Run 5K
Like I had mentioned before, I was feeling less than enthralled about the First Run. Rain—ick! You'd think I was made out of soap! And, it occurs a good several hours after my bedtime. Anymore, sleep is way up there on my priority list.
So, I layered up, and headed out of the house. Got downtown maybe 15 minutes before the race. Very unlike me—I just wasn't into it. Strangely, it was warm and not raining. I had on two long sleeved shirts, my warm winter shirt, and my yellowjacket, wool hat, and gloves, with my number pinned to the yellowjacket. (Why yes, I did overheat. How good of you to ask!) Found my pal Mela, and then once we lined up, and saw Hollie, which was very cool. And then the race started.
I wasn't wearing my heart monitor, and I just started out too fast, just because it felt so good to move. I really like night races, even if this was just an out and back on Front Ave. There were tons of people there—around 1000. Amazing.
There's not much to tell. I went out too fast. I passed a guy who was walking, smoking a cigarette, wearing a trenchcoat. I watched a clutch of racewalkers in amongst the runners coming back in. My hips and hamstrings started bugging me. And I was just feeling kinda sad. When will I be fast? Will I ever be fast? Is this all for naught? Am I nuts to think of doing Austin? I felt really tired—and of course, it didn't occur to me that, well, of course I'm tired! It's the f&*^% middle of the f&*^% night!!
This was just so unlike every other race for me. I'm consumed with joy about races, can't wait for them, etc, etc. With this race, I just wanted it to be over. And soon enough, it was. It was nice—they announced names at the finish line, which I like, and they pronounced my difficult name correctly.
I gave Mela a hug, and headed to the car. When I got home at 1, my neighborhood was completely quiet. Usually, at midnight, it sounds like Beirut—and I guess this year was no exception. But you never would have known that. My sweetie has had the flu, and so he was asleep, so I sat up, watched some TV, had some local non-homogenized chocolate milk (yum!) and then a beer, and then I hit the hay.
You can tell by my time that I just wasn't into it. Of course, my hamstring is not all it could be—it was pretty unhappy before the race started. But, I just wasn't so into it. Hopefully this will pass.
I'm supposed to do the Y2K 10K tomorrow, and I've thought about just not doing it. I need to do that 30K anyways. Dunno know. Gonna go take a nap and wait and see...
chip time: 0:46:57
chip pace: 15:07
age division: 45/52
place overall: 779/923
sex overall: 408/515
