about getting from point A to point B in the most interesting ways possible

If you're a large woman in America, your whole life is an opportunity to feel self-conscious, embarrassed, resentful and way too big. You can hide in the corner or on the couch, you can go to therapy, or you can put on your lycra bike shorts and get out there and move.
—Jayne Williams, Slow Fat Triathlete

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January 28, 2005

grumble, grumble, grumble. permalink

Last night at pilates, the instructor was talking to my friend and I, saying, "yeah I didn't think you'd be back". Jill responded with an adamant "I'm not a quitter!", and I as usual kept my mouth shut, but was thinking a big f#*k you.

My initial reaction was that it was all about me, that this was a blanket assumption that I am like all fat women, and that all fat women quit exercise classes. Of course, that's bull. But, it's intimidating to be constantly asked to do a child's pose (where you are kneeling, sitting on your feet, and folded over the top with your arms in front of you) when you have a belly and breasts in the way. The mirrors, where you get to see exactly how huge your breasts are as you do a difficult, unflattering exercise—no thanks. I don't need that.

But I like the fact that it's hard, and so I'm back. Well, that and I paid for it!

Today is a walking rest day. I got into work early to hopefully knock out a project uninterrupted, then I'll sneak out and hit the gym for a while. That's the plan, anyways. Tomorrow, I'm going to do a long, slow 13 miles, resisting the urge to see how fast I can do this, or how many racewalking exercises I can incorporate into it. The most of the long walks this month have really not been fun, and dammit, why am I doing this if it's not fun? So tomorrow, I'm going to aim at having fun.

The shoe situation is not as I want it to be, but it's better. I pulled out the orthopedic insole and put back in the one that came with the shoe, and I pulled out the hell lift. It's much more comfortable. But still not right. I'm thinking about going and spending cash I don't have, and getting the same shoes I bought last time. Sigh. Or possibly throwing good money after bad, and getting a pair of the nu b@lance racewalkers.

Posted at January 28, 2005

Comments

Man, you're a saint VJ. The only response to *anyone* showing up at *any* exercise class is, "Great to see you, thanks for coming." Period. Although, if you're anything like me (and let's say we have more than a few things in common), a little naysaying can be quite the motivator, too. I'm not about a little reverse psychology, as I just told a friend! xoxo Mia

Posted by: Mia at January 28, 2005 7:10 PM

Do have a fun walk!! Smile while you're doing it (sometimes happy follows the smile) and congure up all kinds of positive, motivating, powerful thoughts as you move - and everytime a negative thought comes in, smash it!

I hope you enjoy! :)

Posted by: Lara at January 29, 2005 7:36 AM

What a jerk that instructor is. The response should have been "We were hoping for a different instructor this time."

Posted by: Jon in Michigan at January 30, 2005 5:48 AM