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January 22, 2005
The big build up 
I don't know how far I walked this morning. My guess is, 12 miles. It started out good—an amazing sunrise, a rainbow, seeing Mela start her waterfront run. My first mile was a relaxed, comfortable 13:05—I had no idea I could go that fast. After seeing Mela, I had this intense burst of joy, feeling like my body couldn't contain it.
But by the time I hit Willamette Park, about 3 miles in, my toes were complaining about hitting the end of the shoes on the toe offs. I tightened the laces. By about 4 and a half miles, I had a hot spot forming on the ball of my right foot—right where the giant blister had got me during the Portland Marathon.
By mile 7, I was miserable. By 9, I was limping.
As I was making the loop, I kept thinking: I could change my shoes (if I had another pair with me). I could walk tomorrow. Yeah, everything will be better tomorrow.
Now, I've had just dinner with a couple margaritas. I think I had a shoe malfunction. At least, I had new socks (which I thought were Wright Socks Coolmesh but were in fact Wright Socks Running), new insoles, a new 12mm heel lift, and of course, new shoes. And my feet were intensely unhappy.
In thinking about this, I had wanted to do another marathon so I could do it right. During the Portland Marathon, I had had the miserable giant blister, and then I had hit the wall and not recognized that it was the wall. And because of this and my own mishegas, I finished just under 9 hours.
But doing the Austin marathon will not be doing it right, not when I missed a month of training, and the last couple long longwalks have been unhappy affairs. I want to be in shape, I want to be ready, I want to enjoy it, and at this point in time, I'm not there. I may wish I was there, but I'm not. Wishing, unfortunately, doesn't make it so.
So while there is part of me that is inconsolable, tonight I signed up for the half-marathon. I can train for that, perhaps PR, and hopefully have a great time. It really doesn't sound as cool as training for a marathon, but there are plenty of those in the future. My ego will have to get over it.
And physically, I don't feel too bad. I ice-bathed when I got home, then had a good nap, which always helps. I bruised the tops of both feet, and my right hamstring is unhappy, of course. But I don't walk too funny, and I wasn't uncomfortable sitting in the fancy mexican restaurant with its marquis de sade chairs.
Posted at January 22, 2005
Comments
I think this was a very healthy decision. Good for you, VJ! I'll be cheering you on, too. - Mia
Posted by: Mia at January 23, 2005 10:47 PM
Shoot, I think a half-marathon is all kinds of cool! In fact, were I to look in my personal dictionary under "cool" I'd find this definition: "a kick-ass woman who is going to walk over 13 miles for the pure challenge and fun of it."
Posted by: Megan at January 24, 2005 10:02 AM
Half marathons do rock, and this way you can really hang out in the city as well. Oh - and on behalf of the City of Austin, I think that we can provide Mexican places with some kick-ass comfy chairs, too :-)
Remember - tortilla chips and beer are both carbs...
Posted by: Richard at January 25, 2005 4:11 PM
Sounds like you made a good decision. I really like half marathons; they seem so civilized. I now know that a marathon is nothing to be entered into lightly, so it sounds like you did the right thing for this particular race. There will be other marathons!
Posted by: Rachel at January 25, 2005 4:44 PM