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February 28, 2005
euphoria
Today has just been a huge relief. By lunch, I had the magazine all roughed in, good enough for public consumption, and good enough for my coworkers to look at. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep, but I felt all floaty, all happy, all day.
I'm sure having a two hour block of pilates (ouch. Ouch. Ouch. How could this hurt so much?) and weightlifting (all weights at 90#—some exercises were fine at that weight, others, umm, not so good) and hamstring exercises, which still continue to kick my butt, didn't hurt. I do love how exercise takes me out of my linear mind, and into something else entirely (the chatty mind? the monkey mind?).
One of my hamstring exercises is not getting any better. It's the Around the World, where you basically are balancing on one foot while hurking the other around. Sure, that sound easy, I can hear you saying it now. Well, try it with your eyes closed. With all the gains in balance that I've made in the last couple months, I still can't manage to stand more than about 7 seconds on one foot with my eyes closed.
So I spent the afternoon tweaking the magazine, then this evening we went to LOW BBQ again (!!!!) Sweetie wanted to pick up some BBQ for our friends who own a restaurant in town, so we did, with some for us, and then headed to said restaurant. Yum. It was great to hang out at both LOW and our friends' place—both places just felt so comfortable, like being surrounded by friends. Now I sit here, burping up the smokey brisket goodness, and I am so happy.
This will all pass. Tomorrow I'll wake up and it'll be just another day. But today, today is golden, and I gotta enjoy this while it's here.
...
Thanks for all the comments on the last entry. I love our back porch. It's about a year old. When I bought this place 11 (oh my gosh!) years ago, it had a ramshackle back porch in place which seemed like a good way to hurt yourself. I continued to patch it and patch it until last year when my sweetie decided to indulge me and get the back porch rebuilt. And I love it.
My family is from Northern Michigan, where people in older houses hang out in glassed-in porches and people in newer houses sit in garages, with the garage door open. The house I bought with my ex had a screened-in back porch, which was our designated smoking room (and since everyone in the house but me smoked, we spent a lot of time out there).
I don't know why a porch resonates so for me, but it does. I like to bundle up and go sit outside, but not exposed; no, on a porch. So I was thrilled to go work on the backporch, especially with the antics of the animals close at hand.
Echo is a whippet; he's about hip high, and about 35#. He's a fast little dog, but not good for distances—a walk of 2 miles will tire him out but good. I'm crazy about whippets—they are quiet and catlike and lazy, and I just like the way they look. I like the rest of the sighthound family too, but greys are too big for my little house, and iggies (Italian Greyhounds) tend to be too anxious. Echo is a strange little neurotic dog; in spite of the reputation, whippets aren't generally neurotic, but Echo had an injury as a pup and didn't get socialized, so some "normal" things like riding in the car and meeting other dogs can be too much. But, he is sweet and loving, and he likes to make sure no stray cats are on the property. He doesn't really know what to make of cats in general, but he recognizes that the three indoor cats and the one outdoor cat are in charge, and he is happy to obey their every whim. What's not to love?
February 27, 2005
beautiful weekend, full of work
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Sigh. It's Sunday night. Where has the weekend gone?
Actually, I'm painfully aware of where it's gone, and, it's not done yet. But I think I have two more stories to code, and a handful of stories to proofread, and I'll be done.
There have been two highlights to the weekend. One was an early morning walk in Forest Park, and the other was working on the back porch this afternoon.
The walk was great. We met at an entrance to the park that I had never been to before, and it took about a half hour for everyone to find it. We were planning to do a 8.75 mile route, but we missed our trail, and so ended up doing about 9 miles there and back on a beautiful fire lane. The morning started foggy, but about halfway through, the sun came out, and everything glowed. I was doing a pretty good pace out, but I slowed down as we were coming back into the start. Still once everything was averaged out, I did a 16:40 pace, not great, but got my heart working.
It was nice, because I got to chat with some folks I haven't seen in months. And, it was just plain nice. According to our maps, there is a 700 square foot gain coming back, and I felt it. Gotta go back there soon again soon.
This afternoon, it was also sunny, and so I grabbed the imac and all my proofs and went to work on the back porch. So nice! Daphne, the outdoor cat who eats fabric, split her time between hanging with me, and following Echo around. Echo occupied himself by defending the back yard from phantom cats.
Of course, I am crazy about porches, but it felt so humane to be working out there.
February 25, 2005
Looking for my magic wand
So. Crankiness continues. I didn't get much done on the magazine yesterday (grumble, grumble) but I did get in a fabulous weights routine, and my hamstring exercises (remember those? I sure hadn't). Ouch. And I got rid of 10 more magazines (and came away with 2 more. Sigh). Anyways, I got that brain-cleansing feeling of having been taken away from the stress, which was great, except for having to go right back into it. Oh, and the magazine came back from the printers yesterday, rather than today. I also did about 30 minutes of pilates, having gotten stuck on the freeway getting there.
Today, so far: nothing. I have 10 more magazines to drop off, and I'm trying to figure out if I can break away for breakfast tacos at some point. I guess only if I'm able to find the magic wand, but I sure like the idea of it.
I've been entertaining my coworkers with my swearing streaks, which is good, I guess. It does make me feel better to vent.
Hopefully, more hamstrings and more extreme workout over lunch. If not, there's the 14 miles tomorrow.
February 24, 2005
futility
Well, in spite of all the best intentions and all that, I still left at 7:17, which meant I was late for work. It's not a big deal, as I'll be probably putting in two full days of work this weekend, but still.
I did walk in, a nice brisk walk. It felt very good. Then I got to the gym, unloaded 10 magazines (which makes 20 magazines given to the gym this week—of course, I did come home with 2 yesterday so it's not as good as it could be), took a shower, and felt like the wind had been entirely taken out of my sails.
Work is... well, work. I found out yesterday afternoon that the magazine deadline had been moved up by a day, AND NO ONE TOLD ME! I work in the Communications department. The irony is not lost on me!! I got another project, also due on Monday, from my boss, who is aware of my current scheduling constraints. Ugh! So don't mind me if I have my own black cloud on a string.
The answer is, obviously, many breaks with intense exercise. I have pilates tonight, and I plan to just moszy on down to the gym every now and again.
I just ran into a colleague in the stairwell who is a big windsurfer. Today is her last day. Man! She got a new job in Hood River, the windsurfing capitol of the Northwest, and just one of my favorite places on earth. While I know that if I lived and worked in Hood River, I'd still end up in a job where people expect that I just wave my magic wand and things get done, at least some of the time. And there isn't as much good food. And not as many races. But still, I am seriously jealous.
February 23, 2005
better
I do hurt today. Man, there are some muscles that I had forgotten all about. But because I took care of getting clothes together and my yogurt snacks and took a shower last night, well, I still didn't make to work on time. But it did feel relaxed.
I did walk in. According to today's ganderman, it was 2.84 miles. About a month ago, I gandermaned the distance, and it was 3.5 miles. There is a lot of difference between the two. Does anyone else have this problem or is it just me??
I'm anxious to start planning for spring races. And my training schedule.
February 22, 2005
a little more
We did the Salmon Street hill over lunch—it was nice, not too intense, but it worked up a sweat.
Then there was pilates this evening. Kicked my ass! It was so hard. How could I have lost so much muscle/tone/whatever by missing three classes? Whatever, I did. I'm gonna hurt tomorrow.
Forget Julia's story...
There is an ad campaign in Canada for some unnamed weight loss pharmaceutical that tells you to ask your doctor about Julia's story.
Here's the Canadian Women's Health Network's reply, which I found really kinda hit home...
http://www.cwhn.ca/resources/eating_disorders/barbara.html
a new try
So, after deciding that my life is dominated by passive media, I turned off the powerbook, and I went through the TiVo and killed all of "my" shows. I then turned off the TV, and did some knitting. Nice.
This morning was similar. I never let myself sit on the couch (other than eating my oatmeal). I'm going to carve out some space on the kitchen table and eat there soon! No TV, no powerbook. I was still late, but that was more about not having done some prep last night, and getting up late. Even so, I managed to start the dishwasher and do a load of laundry. Yee ha!
I walked part of the way in today, which was very nice. The sun was out early, very pleasant. I'm looking forward to checking the scale, hopefully after my hill-climb walk at lunch, and seeing if I gained (likely) or lost (I wish!).
February 21, 2005
monday
I had today off, and I had big plans to get lots done. Take a walk into town. Do some work-work. Go to the noon pilates class. Do some more work-work. Etc. Of course, I managed to do none of the above.
I've been focused on housecleaning since we've been back. I've filled three paper grocery bags with magazines to be recycled. I've pulled out several pairs of jeans to go to charity.
But today, I fell into TV and the computer. Among other things, I was hoping to find some pics of me at the Austin Half finish line, as I remember several people taking pictures, but no go. There were thousands of pictures I sifted through, just hoping. Oh well.
I had this realization while we were in Houston. I'd get up around 6, linger over coffee and brekkie, then frequently get in about 45 minutes of exercise. Then I'd take a thorough and luxurious long shower, including shaving my legs (something I always tend to leave to the last minute if it's remembered at all). By 9:30, I was ready to go. And there was lots of cushioning in there. No hurrying.
So, in theory, if I got up at 4, I could get a walk in and get to work on time, all in a very humane way.
But. In Houston, my sweetie and I were sharing his powerbook. And since there was no TiVo, I didn't really watch TV. It's amazing how much time I lose in front of the powerbook and the TiVo.
Part of this reflection too is based on Megan's saying that she is going to quit TV for a month, something that I can't imagine. How did I become such a TV addict? And such a computer addict? Why do I feel like I need to fill my life with all this stuff that becomes an obligation—yarn, magazines, books, etc.
Anyways. I got in a good nap today, ran some errands and then met my beloved and Mela at the most incredible pizza joint where they are now hosting LOW BBQ on Monday nights. LOW stands for Laid Off Workers, serving you with many years of experience in the semiconductor industry. Anyways, they use exquisite local meats and a Texas style offset smoker, and it is to die for! And it was.
After eating brisket and sausage, I went back to say hi to Rodney & Kyle, the LOW guys, and then Brian, the pizza genius. Brian and his wife and mom were sitting at the bar, and they were so kind. Oh my gosh! I walked outta there just glowing, and an hour and a half later, I'm still glowing.
February 18, 2005
last day...
It's hard for me to believe that today is my last day in Houston, our last day on vacation. I am feeling incredibly sad. This has been such a nice break for me, and I've enjoyed hanging out with my sweetie's relations. Damn.
This morning I squeezed in a swim. Wonderful! Before we left the motel this morning, we saw part of a very campy Psycho Beach Party. Very silly.
Yesterday was a big exciting day. It started with the breakfast tacos that my beloved loves, then we went into Houston, and I got to see his high school and the townhouse he lived in with his Aunt. We drove through Memorial Park, and came into downtown. Then we went to Ninfas on Navigation.
The first time we were in Houston, we went to a N1nfas on FM1960, and while I had a great fajita plate, my sweetie was really disappointed in his mexican plate. He had eaten at N1nfas as a kid and loved it, so he was very sad.
There are a number of stories, all of them sad, but suffice to say, Ninfas on Navigation is the original, and is still owned by the family. We walked in at lunch, and the place was packed. In spite of a line, we were seated in about 5 minutes, immediately brought drinks, chips, and red and green salsas. I love the creamy green salsa—love, love, love. I ordered the traditional fajitas (beef), and my gosh, it was so very good.
We then headed down to League City to see my sweetie's brother. I had never met him, and I was a little nervous, but for no reason—they made me feel right at home. So we hung out, drank beer (Shiner, St. Arnold Amber, and Full Sail Amber), and then we had an insanely wonderful meal of seared scallops, shrimp scampi, and red snapper. Oh my gosh! Cooking yummy things seems to really run in that family. It was the funniest thing too—my sweetie and his brother argued about food, cooking, etc.—they are both so passionate about food.
Right now we're at sweetie's dad's, and I don't know what we have on for the day beyond packing and preparing to ship some stuff home.
February 17, 2005
milagro?
Today we go to the south side of Houston to visit more of my beloved's family. I've been trying to sneak in some exercise here and there -- 45 minutes of racewalking (people looked at me as if I were nuts) yesterday, 40 minutes of "swimming" the day before. Lots of holding my guts in and trying to sit with my legs together—don't laugh, it's hard when you're not used to it!
My sweetie's dad has a bathroom scale, like people all across N. America (unlike us), so I've been weighing myself. I like his scalee a lot. Yesterday, it read 223. There can be no way that I'm losing weight on this trip: I've eaten a ton, I've drank like a fish, and had very little exercise and lots of driving. I keep thinking longingly about exercise, but it seems there just isn't time. And all my pants are super baggy (though I think that's more about having two pairs of pants with me rather than me losing weight).
February 16, 2005
email from Houston, 2/15
Yes, I was really pleased--it was really hot and humid, and I could have pushed it a little harder but I was tremendously dehydrated (inspite of going into the race really hydrated and drinking about 80 oz of water during the race. But yes, very happy.
We are in Houston now, staying at a really nice Hampton Inn (in Spring at FM1960 & 35. We had a really good seafood dinner
last night -- fresh shrimp and snow crab claws, outside on a porch. The fast food mexican here is even good, well better than what we get
generally in Portland.
...
I just saw my results. I'm pleased! I want to concentrate, for the timebeing, on training for halves, to see if I can bring the time down significantly.
The weather here has been really nice. Very warm. Yesterday was in the 80s. Texas is such an interesting place.
Austin was just so cool. There is killer mexican food, natch, lots of park land, it's hilly and treed, and there seems to be this real blending of indoor and outdoor space. Many many restaurants have patios or garden rooms, which may or may not actually be outside, but at least have that suggestion. Some are actually exposed to the air, almost all have roofs, and heating/cooling. I am just so totally enamored to this patio idea. There was a tavern that I saw that we never actually went to that had several second story porches -- but it was more like rooms that were missing two of the exterior walls! It's such a mexican thing, and I just love it, love it, love it. Everywhere people are running, riding bikes, walking. And there is all this artsy crap everywhere. Okay, not everywhere, but it seems very very frequently. Lots of neon, goofy sculpture. Oh man! Oh. And we played mini-golf. So much fun!!! (Admittedly, in spite of a hole in one, and a couple 2s, I really did quite a bit worse than my sweetie and our friend Andy. But damn, we had a good time.)
We had the suckiest hotel room in Austin though. So the hotel in Houston is such a relief. It's just a Hampton Inn, right by a freeway, but the Hampton Inn stuff has been redesigned and looks really cool and expensive. We have internet in the room, a comfy bed, 3 channels of HBO, and exercise room and pool, a beautiful, roomy bathroom, free continental breakfast, wifi in the common areas, and a business suite with a computer, printer,
fax. It's the nicest Hampton I've ever stayed in, and it's cheap. Our room was quiet and dark. It was like everything had been thought about. Even the alarm clark has an orange backlight with black digital readout, including big time and smaller alarm on/off at what time. It's brilliant. I love this room. The shampoo and soap look expensive and elegant. Damn. Really nice.
...
Austin was so cool. Especially for us as the manic all-things-mexican fans that we are. But Houston is treating us well. ...we've eaten well. This noon we went to a
neat place, probably a chain, with great Mexican food and just the coolest atmosphere. Last night we went to a seafood joint, the type that seems just typical Houston -- very relaxed, eating not-too-expensive but totally fresh seafood on a rooved patio, on picnic tables, with paper towels and huge platters of food. All the fish sold by the pound! Oh, and $2.75 margaritas. Good too. I'm hoping that soon we'll go to a place called P@ppasitos which is a chain (shame, shame), but they have the most dreamy romantic porches with water features nearby--you'd never know you're right on a busy 8 lane road. And, really really good food. ...Does Taco C@bana compare with some of the great mexican in Austin, or on our tacqueria crawl? No, but it's consistently cheap and good.
...
Oh, the minigolf was hysterical. It's a great course, and we got lots of pictures. Of course, if we had been just a bit more sober, maybe the pictures might have turned out better!
I know I am improving in pilates . I can almost see some stomach definition (other than the hang of the beer gut). Even if you aren't seeing the progress, think about this. You're developing muscle, which is burns much more calories than fat (9 vs 4). Each time you are doing weight-lifting or weight-bearing exercise, you are increasing your metabolism for the next 48 hours. Walking and other aerobic exercise burns calories, but not in an extended way. So, even if you aren't seeing the progress you want to see, stuff is
happening behind the scenes. And how about your triceps? I bet you're seeing some changes there. I just noticed that my triceps are there, and I've been weightlifting for almost a year trying to develop them--but it's been the weights in pilates that have brought them out. So hang in there!
Our romantic dinner was going to Fonda San Miguel in Austin, this high-end, exquisite Mexican place. The atmosphere was incredible, but my god, I felt so poor in there. The food was good, but it didn't make me go, wow, that was the best meal ever. Last
night, we tried to get into Pappasitos, but it had a 40 minute wait.
So we ended up at Blue Water, which is the seafood joint. Not romantic, but awful good.
I have seen so much fur here. All the women are wearing fur.
email from Austin, Feb 11
We are supposed to have wi-fi in the hotel but we don't so we are sitting in a coffeehouse in North Austin. We're having
a great time. We ate at a hippie veggie place last night--had the most luscious mexican corn soup, and this morning, ate brekkie at Joe's favorite, Las Manitas, which had just incredible mexican breakfast. We each got a plate (Joe got migas especial con hongos -- mushrooms, so yummy, and I got something that was a tortilla, black beans, eggs and ranchero sauce -- wow, and then we each got a breakfast taco, mine was chorizo & eggs, his potatoes and eggs. So good I could just about die. Imean, I was in heaven. I'm hoping we get to go there tomorrow too.
I'm really excited about the race. The weather is looking fairly
questionable, but hopefully it won't rain. I went to the Expo and totally lost my mind -- got a Freescale shirt, three pairs of socks, an ankle chip holder, an ipod holder, and I'm not remembering what else.Then thisafternoon we went to a women's sports clothing place called Betty, and I actually bought some clothes. Yea! A pair of pants, bike shorts, and running shorts, and a short-sleeve t, as well as some goofy reebok fake athletic shoes. I am beside myself with joy at getting the clothes. Oh, and everything but the running shorts were on sale.
I am loving the fact that just about every restaurant and hangout has a patio, which all involve a roof. So cool!
Freescale Race Report
I wrote this on Sunday evening...
We left the motel at 5:30 in the morning, heading up to the starting line on the north side of town. When we were on the freeway, it began to pour, and the sky began to flash. It was raining hard enough that everyone on the freeway was slowing down to 30mph, and this is Texas—nobody seems to ever drive that slow.We get up to the parking lot of the big box stores in front of the start line (where is the start line? the pamphlet doesn't really say, and if the parking lot wasn't entirely full at 6AM, we'd never know), and it continues to rain and thunder and lightening. I have my yellowjacket with me, which is water resistant, not waterproof.
I'm tired, I feel hung over (though I didn't drink the day before), and this half-marathon is looking like a really bad idea. I thought about bailing—a lot.
We could go to Las Manitas for some early morning huevos. Or back to bed. Or we could get some decent coffee.
Instead, I got out of the car, and went to the race. And the rain stopped.
The start of the race was the craziest thing. There was a sea of participants, and we all were heading for the road, for the starting line, and there was a fence between us and the road.
I finally did get down on the road, but I was far ahead of where I wanted to be. Ugh.
A woman across the way was about my size, wearing a white shortsleeve shirt, and bike shorts. I think they were the same ones that I had bought at Betty the day before. She was solid muscle, and she looked great. I hope I look like her someday.
It's Sunday evening when I'm writing this, and I just don't remember very much right now. I did the first mile too fast, but not crazy fast—maybe a 15 minute/mile. I didn't wear my heart rate monitor or the ganderman. I did the first, umm, seven miles with a school teacher from Sugar Land. We started off rather leisurely, at a 17 minute/mile, and at some point, we started speeding up. And then at some point, I went on alone.
It was warm, it was humid. My feet were damp. It was sunny. I would have been perfectly happy in a singlet rather than a short-sleeve shirt and a yellowjacket. But really, things went fairly well. I had hydrated like a fiend all week, and on the course, I drank lots of water, took my electrolytes, and my hands still swelled up like sausages. But, I passed lots of folks. Except the pesky walkers who would jog everytime I passed them. That got old.
I thanked all the cops and volunteers. Maybe half the cops would give me this huge smile, and say that I was welcome, or that it was my day! The rest were stoic and cop-like. The volunteers seemed enthused to be there, too. As did the spectators, who seemed to be having front yard parties. Lots of cute dogs.
Richard had told me about these regulars who are always early on the race course. They sit in lawnchairs, drink beer, smoke cigarettes, and have a sign that reads Come join the Dark Side!. I was looking so forward to seeing them—but they weren't there!
So, I'd walk, and I'd pick out the last person ahead of me, and think, okay, the woman with the Phillipians verse on the back of her t-shirt, I'll catch up to her by the second green sign. The woman with the blue jacket tied around her waist—I'll catch up with her by the light. And that was how it went. As long as they didn't jog. :)
My hands couldn't close, they were so swollen. Keep your feet in a line, keep your arms at ninety degrees, hold that belly in, keep moving. Make those feet go faster!At about mile nine, I caught up with a guy who didn't look too good. I asked him how he was doing, and he gave a true Texan reply. "Oh, I'm doing pretty good. But I got a blister, and I don't know if I can make it." All with this tone of, I'm fine, how are you?. That was me in the Portland Marathon, just further along and with no attempt to try to be heroic. Poor guy. Boy, I know just what he was feeling. So I was the annoying person (or maybe the helpful person, who knows) who tried to give him a pep talk.
I said the stock things about being three-quarters of the way there, and that distance racing is all mental. If this was easy, everyone would be doing this. Just gotta walk through this, and it will get better. I told him all about my blister, my special friend, and how I finished in spite of it. And he could too. Just break it down—make it to the next water stop. Or the next light. Or the next corner. Or the next driveway.
I think back about this now, and I think, crap, I sure can be annoying. I might as well been going on about how life is suffering but we choose our own reality. But I am, or at least try, to be a reality-based lifeform. Anyways.
By the end of this, he seemed to be feeling better. Or maybe he was just sick of this pollyanna woman who wasn't from around here. My work here is done...
I kept hearing spectators make remarks about Mexico, and after the third or fourth one, I thought maybe there might be something causing it. I finally associated it with one of the joggers ahead of me. I finally caught up with her (she liked to jog), and asked her what her t-shirt said. She looked at me with some panic, and I realized that maybe her english wasn't so great. The shirt, of course, read Mexico with a N1ke sw00sh beneath it. Oh!
Bienvenidos!, I said. Gracias, she said. I passed her. A block later, she jogged past me. (I love using my bad spanish on folks)
But, I made good time—how fast, I don't know (according to the records, um, 16:27/mile). I think I made a negative split but that might require me to remember my halfway time (I did: 16:57/M v 15:59/M). I don't even know my official finish, or my unofficial finish (3:41:05 or 3:35:27). All I know is that I PRed (last best, 3:53), and that I could have done better still if I had started speeding up earlier. However, since I can't remember anything at this point...
I'm all but injury free. I had a couple little blisters between toes, a sunburn on my face, and I have a really unhappy raw spot beneath one breast (damn it, that usually happens with the heart rate monitor. I would have thought that it wouldn't happen without the hrm), but otherwise, other than being hungry and tired, I'm fine.
We came back to the room, I did an ice bath, and then we went out of the first of several meals and several beers (okay, and the strongest margarita I've ever drank at La Reyna), and even mini-golf (Which I'm sure has nothing to do with my memory!)
February 15, 2005
The Pirate and me
Freescale Half Marathon
Overall: 3708 of 3798
Finish time: 3:41:05
Chip time: 3:35:27
class_pos 263
total_pace 16:27/M
1st_6_2m_rank 8792
1st_6_2m_time 1:45:06
1st_6_2m_pace 16:57/M
last_6_9m_rank 3636
last_6_9m_time 1:50:20
last_6_9m_pace 15:59/M
Another quickie
Hi guys --
We're in Houston now. The whole internet access thing has been very interesting, as in, I've barely had any. The PDA is great, but I can't access my mail, and now Sweetie's computer has inexplicatably (sp?) refused to start. Oh well.
The race. I PRed, though I'm not sure by how much. I don't remember a lot of the details except that it was hot and humid and I was all swollen up like a sausage, and I was dehydrated in spite of hydrating well for days before and drinking about 80 oz of water during. Anyways I think I finished in about 3:40, which would be 13 minutes faster than last time. I walked for the first 7 miles with a school teacher who was very fun even though we were polar opposites on politics. Then I started speeding up and got lucky enough (and I do mean lucky) to have several people who would start jogging once I caught up. So, I just had to work harder. Which was good. I could have worked harder still, but because of all of the above, I held back a little bit -- I didn't want to die at 12.75!
I felt good afterwards, and after an icebath, we eat, drank, eat, drank and then played mini golf at Peter Pan's. Wuhoo!
I was hoping to "run into" Richard or Alex or the one person I know from Portland who was here who was hoping to qualify for Boston (wonder how he did?)at the race, but no such luck.
February 11, 2005
hi ya'll
I'm in Austin, and writing this on a PDA. Having a gret time, and can't wait for the race...
February 9, 2005
allegro
I have the worst headache in recent memory. It's bad enough that if today was a normal day, I'd just go home sick. But of course, I have a pile of stuff to do. I just self-medicated, we'll see if that does anything.
But. The one spot of pure joy since I've been at work was my pilates allegro demo. Now, the allegro is this roller thing on a track, which has weights very subtly hiding within it. You appear to do really simple movements, that in fact are very difficult and hurt. It ended up being about 40 minutes long, very intense, but very good.
This is probably revealing too much, but having someone telling you what to do, and the doing being difficult, is my best destresser. It's perfect. I got lots of personal attention from the trainer, who gave lots of feedback. It was brilliant. I'm a convert.
I just left a voicemail saying a project I had hoped to finish by today wasn't going to happen. Hate leaving that kind of phone call, but I've run out of time.
Oh. And 10 pounds by Austin? Made it! 228! I don't know how, but there it is!
spazz!
Okay. I'm ready for the half-marathon.
It's everything else that I'm not ready for. I'm partially packed, trying to pack light (ha!), afraid that if I bring warm clothes it will be warm, and if I don't, it'll be cold, blah blah blah. It all comes down to this very deep desire to pack light. I don't know why it's so important. But I know that I almost never succeed.
Oh, and Austin's forecast for Sunday: thundershowers. Ooowee, this is going to be fun!
I've gone to pilates twice this week (and the pilates torture machine demo is today), but otherwise, no exercise. I could use some more exercise, as I am really stressed, and my body is starting to exhibit it in really physical ways. Alas!
So, question: when you go to out-of-town races, do you pack light, or do you bring everything, or are you somewhere in between?
And does anyone have any recommendations for walking a race in a thunderstorm?
February 7, 2005
realizations and cleaning up
From this point forward until the 22nd or so, I don't know how frequently I'll be updating. I'm coming into the crush of getting things done for work, and getting the house clean for the cat sitter, and getting ready for the trip. Getting ready for trips is always, always pretty emotionally fraught. Don't know why.
It was an interesting weekend. And by interesting, I mean good, though rather profound in someways.
My therapist recommended I look into information on the effects of adoption on adoptees a couple of months ago. I grabbed a bunch of library books, and that night I started reading one and spent the evening crying. The next morning, I decided I would not become adoption-poster-girl, if for other reason that I didn't want to mourn these things. I've been known to be suggestable, and I just didn't want to go there.
So on Saturday, I was looking at my huge pile of library books, and decided to weed them out. And there were the adoption books. So I started glancing through one of them, and there was "rejection". It's pretty simple—as adoptees, we were rejected by our birthmother. Never mind that there was a good reason, etc., etc., it's still there.
Which made me think of my reoccurring dream of losing my sweetie, and how I react to my mom when she quits speaking to me on a semi-annual basis. On the former, I'm in a good relationship, and I don't think he's going to leave me. And with my mom, I wonder how much I test her, how much I might unconsciously provoke her to reject me.
So. Realizations, and getting stuff ready to get out of the house. Cool!
The next morning, I worked on work stuff. And got more done in a couple hours than I've gotten done in the last week and a half at work.
Nita was supposed to come over to adopt some yarn and talk cats, and my lack of organization is so profound that I no longer have a central yarn cache, so I went looking for it. I found a bag of clothes, that I obviously put together for charity at least a couple years ago. I had mostly clothes that I had grown out of—which is now a little big on me. Two miniskirts, and a pair of pants. Wow!
I then started going through my yarn. I've been trying to weed it out for a couple months now, and I found myself holding things back—because I had an unfinished project, because I really liked the yarn, etc. Almost too late, I realized that gifting this to Nita would really be a gift to me—because I knew she'd really appreciate it, certainly more than I was appreciating it by having it in a plastic bag at the bottom of a pile. It would also let me let go of old projects which I really no longer want to finish.
She came by and took two full shopping bags. She took some of my favorite yarns—and while I had a pang of, gosh, that's the gorgeous spacedyed blue wool—it really felt like a relief. A weight being lifted off me.
February 5, 2005
Alameda ridge
So, I did an 8 mile walk this morning. I had the bright idea of trying to do the whole thing at a 15 minute/mile pace. I'm sad to say I didn't make that—I did it in 2:04, or 15:30.
I was a nice morning, and I did the first mile in 12:57. Incredible! I felt all relaxed and loose. The route I chose was an old favorite, along the Alameda Ridge to 57th, and up to Fremont, which makes 4 miles—doubling back will make 8. Alameda ridge has big beautiful houses and an impressive view of downtown and SE Portland, and the rolling hills keep you on your toes.
The second mile had the steepest hill, which slowed me down, but I was still feeling great. (Hmmm, that makes me sound like I'm going to say I felt bad at some point. Not so. But anyways) By about 24th Avenue, there were suddenly a lot of walkers. Huh? A few blocks later, I saw the AVA arrows—yep, it was the Volkssporters. I also ran (almost literally) into a running group which was running on the sidewalk!
I passed the largest estate sale I think I've ever seen. People stretched from the house to the sidewalk, and lines filled the sidewalk to the end of the block both ways. Somewhere in mile three, I fell behind the virtual training partner. Ack! But the sun was shining and the day was beautiful, and I just went as fast as I could and called it good.
I didn't end up with a negative split—both halves were 1:02. Disappointing. But, in spite of trying to walk this like a race, I wasn't able to keep the pace up. It's disappointing—I was hoping my base fitness had improved more than it has.
But. It was a great day, and a good walk. I tried hard to stay in racewalking form, and to keep my abs engaged, and while I didn't have 100% success, it's getting better, and seeming more natural.
February 4, 2005
half marathon race strategy
Okay guys, I need some help. I need a strategy for Freescale. Can you help me? What have you done?
Here's my half marathon history: I've done three of them.
The first, I did just about everything wrong. I wore long cotton pants and a heavy cotton t-shirt, and by the end of the race, the temps were in the low 80s. I didn't properly hydrate before or during, because I didn't want to spend much time in the porta-johns. I did the first third, which was mostly flat, slowly. The second third was rolling killer hills, which I just jetted through—so much fun! The last third was flat, and fully exposed to the sun, and I thought I was going to die. If there had been a sag wagon or an ambulance, I would have quit there on the spot. I crossed the finish line, and I thought I was going to die. I had to climb what seemed like thousands of steps, and I thought I was going to die. That was 3:59:07
The second was flat as a pancake, and on the fourth of July (so, sunny and warm). I did the first third slow, the second third a little faster, and the last third faster yet—and then a big dog got loose and started jumping on people and mouthing their hands, and so I walked the dog back to the sullen teens who owned it. That was 3:53:03.
The third was the Seattle Half-marathon, where I did more of the same, finished really strong, but still with a sucky time (3:53:43).
In shorter races (5 & 10 K) where I've done really well, I've started at about 75-80% maximum heart rate, and tried to sprint for the last mile. My best pace has been 14:30 minute/mile in a 10K. So really, I should be able to do a 15 minute/mile, no problem, right?
So, what are your strategies for doing a good half-marathon? Please share...
Yet another day
Well, it's now noon, and I am still in the clothes that I walked to work in. I just had needed to finish some deadline stuff, and it took me this long. Sigh.
As much as I've been stressed out working with someone else's backend set-up, I have to say that I've learned a lot, and that it can all be summed up pretty much as: modularize. Frequently repeated things, like headers, footers, any code that might be repeated, updated, whatever, should be in modules so you only change one piece rather than having to search an entire directory for all the files that reference that one repeated piece of info.
I knew that mentally, and I tend to carve up my own files that way, but I really learned it in a gut way in this last week.
Anyways. Yesterday was stressful, no lunchtime gym break, no real lunch break, stayed late to finish fixing a brandnew backend problem. I got home five minutes after I usually leave for pilates, but of course, I hadn't had an afternoon snack so I was ravenous. So I inhaled some food, and hit the road again.
Ah, pilates! Only ten minutes late! There is something very calming (for me) about being in class, being told what to do, working to exhaustion on something other than work. When I got out, I felt human (and humane) again.
And I felt human this morning too. I walked into work at a leisurely pace (0:47:51, 13:30 minute/mile), trying to stay in good racewalking form. It's getting better, but it's still not there yet. The part that I'm having problems with is the tightrope-style walking gait. I feel okay about it when I'm walking on a line, looking down, but I tend to feel like I'm losing balance when I've looking at the horizon. And you want to be looking at the horizon—looking at your feet really shortens your stride.
In the last mile or so, walking in Tom McCall park, I followed another walker. She obviously didn't want me to pass her, so she kept speeding up, so I kept speeding up. I never passed her—I never really tried to, but my goal was to stay within 10 feet of her, and I did. I wanted to thank her as our courses parted—she gave me a nice sprint.
February 3, 2005
It's like pea soup out there
Okay, this is going to have to be another scattered, quick entry as I back at the compression chamber known as work. It is already officially Not a Good Morning™.
Though. Thank you. It is so nice to read your comments, you guys are so wonderful. And, hey, I had a good mirror experience last night! I went to see my athletic trainer/sadistic exercise giver last night, and we went through the old exercises (I came clean about not consistently doing the balance ball exercises), and getting a batch of new ones. All the standing exercises were done in front of a mirror, and I had to say, there in my work clothes, I looked pretty good. Clear distinction between breasts and belly, noticeable waist, yay, yay yay!! Which helped me not hate the fact that the new exercises are really hard.
I had a realization yesterday, that I've almost never been so aware of my ab muscles—except when I ran cross-county in high school. I remember just being so amazed by how strong I felt in my lower trunk (we'd say core now). And actually, I really feel like that now. There's my abs, my glutes, my hamstrings, my quads, they all feel like well-oiled heavy machinery now (and that's a positive thing).
My ability to deal with stress hasn't been too good though. At both lunch and dinner, I had to abdicate making food decisions because I got too overwhelmed. This is me, the total food hound. This is not like me.
So, this morning, I decided to do a couple things that should allow me to blow off steam. I cleaned the living room, and I walked into work.
Now mind you, it's not clean enough for my mom to visit, and no one will be convinced that it's not a paper breeding laboratory, but it's significantly better than it was. And then I walked into work.
Here's a VJ fun fact. Stones gravitate to me. It's almost impossible for me to go for a walk, even to the bus stop, or a bike ride (!) without ending up with at least one rock in my shoe.
This morning's rock was particularly sharp. The fog was thick this morning —about a block's visibility. So, I ended up damp even though it didn't rain. And then when I was taking off my jacket, I realized that I had bird shit all over it—and all over my hand. Ooooogh!
February 2, 2005
The mirror never lies... or does it?
This will have to be just a quickie as I'm putting out fires right and left here at work, and as usual, it has me all keyed up and anxious. Other than climbing stairs, no exercise yet today. The hill climb may fall victim to a sandwich in front of the computer, or lunch out, or time at the gym.
Everything, with the exception of my head, hurts. Nothing like two days of pilates in a row, both with weights. Wuhoo, where do I sign up? And every inch of my legs ache—from stairs, from pilates, from weight-lifting? Who knows? And then there's my core, which is just suddenly very cranky. Or achey. Whatever.
I don't doubt that the concierge sees changes. I can feel it in how clothes fit. But in the last couple days, I have been exercising in front of the mirror, and I find it terribly depressing. When I look at myself in the washroom mirror, I'm flabby and large, but I'm not unattractive. There is plenty for me to love—the new visible cheekbones and temple indentions, my muscular arms, my curvy waist, and yes, my round belly, my solid legs. But at the gym, I don't see those redeeming qualities. I'm just fat. Is this how others see me?
Mind you, I'm not entertaining any fantasies that I'm not fat. I know I am. But...
But I'm getting stronger. I'm able to do more pilates, I'm able to lift more, and my walking might be improving too, though that's harder to see.
But my goal of fitting into non-plus-sized athletic wear still seems a long ways off. I'm wanting weight-loss to be an immediate thing. But I want it to be a permanent thing, so I'm not fad-dieting and I'm not trying to lose 5# a week. Heaven knows I've done that before, and look where it's gotten me.
February 1, 2005
revisiting resolutions
I was just checking in at Tszujing my Life this morning and noticed that she talked about being on target with her resolutions. I thought it would be good for me to check in on mine as well.
- Weight-loss: Aim for a consistent, conservative weight-loss of a pound and a half a week (6# per month).
I started January at 242. Today I'm at 237. So I've lost 5 pounds. Not where I want to be, but, I'm building muscle.
And, the building concierge just said, hey VJ, you're losing weight again—looks good! - Walking: I'd like to drop 2 minutes a mile. I'd like to do a PR with a 12 minute mile.
I'm making progress towards that. I did a quarter-mile the other day at 12 and some change. I just need to build my overall fitness so I am seeing those sorts of results in longer events. - Other exercise: I'd like to work on balance, shape and strength. I need to work on strengthening the balance of my right side. I'd like to walk or bike to work three days a week. I'd like to weight-lift twice a week. I'd like to do two group classes a week. I'd like to do a decent bike ride once a month. I'm planning on some sort of workout 6 days a week.
Okay, I'm actively working on balance, with exercises that I do daily, as well as the twice-weekly pilates classes. I don't think I'm making the three-times-a-week walking to work. I have been squeezing in weight-lifting whenever I can, but it would be better to be more organized about it. I am doing at least two group classes a week. I didn't do a decent bike ride in January. But I am doing some sort of workout 6 days a week. - Professional Development: I feel, well, not terribly excited about this. I'm rather underwhelmed by both library science (the degree I just got, and that I've just started paying for) and web design (which I make my living at). But that said: browse the LIS trade magazines when they come out. Work through an O'Reilly (or other quality) book every two months.
I have been browsing the LIS magazines lately, and I actually had an email interaction that reminded me that I did learn a whole lot in grad school. And, I'm learning a lot of back-end stuff by the seat of my pants. I'm also reading Essential Blogging and the Movable Type Bible, and I have two current projects which should force me to learn more CSS and PHP. - Home: I'm tired of living in a place that I feel embarrassed to have drop-in guests at. I will use a limited version of flylady to try to control clutter and filth in my home. Pretty straightforward: pick up after myself. Don't let clutter happen, and when it does, attack quickly.
I'm maybe making 50% of this. Sometimes I am really good, and other times, not so much. But. I got rid of 5 grocery bags of clothes last week, and several bags of paper.
So, in some things, I'm doing okay, and others need work.
still happy
I don't know what's up, but I'm still happy. Yay!
I had a nice walk in this morning. I tried to keep up good racewalking form all throughout, though I was moving fairly leisurely. I decided to take a roundabout route, which had me walking through Produce Row in industrial SE Portland. I got to give directions to a trucker from San Antonio (!), and just generally gawk and wander. It ended up being an 80 minute long walk—what a luxury!
I also am increasing my stairs. I went up a long staircase to the Hawthorne Bridge, and have climbed 4 flights of stairs twice here at work. That'll hurt tomorrow—after all, yesterday is hurting today—but that's fine.
The one downside this morning is that I weighed in at 237. I did drink beer last night. Sigh, it's so hard to resist a good pint on tap.
