about getting from point A to point B in the most interesting ways possible

If you're a large woman in America, your whole life is an opportunity to feel self-conscious, embarrassed, resentful and way too big. You can hide in the corner or on the couch, you can go to therapy, or you can put on your lycra bike shorts and get out there and move.
—Jayne Williams, Slow Fat Triathlete

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March 15, 2005

exercise & eating permalink

Pilates at lunch was taught by a sub who was a real sadist. Or maybe my parts still aren't working at maximum capacity. It was really hard. There was a little tiny woman next to me, wearing a matching girly yoga outfit, who kept cheering me on. I have to remind myself, I do know some women who have gone from my size to having space between their thighs, it is possible that this woman might be one of them. And anyways, I don't doubt that the class was hard for her too. But my initial reaction was that she couldn't know how hard it was for me.

Now what is that about? This isn't a competition, I am not the queen of pilates suffering, for heavens sakes! Why can't I accept that it's hard for everyone, and yes, I have a belly, and get over it already, VJ?!

Anyways, the class wore me out. And then it came time to ride the bike home. Oh joy! I feel like the queen of suffering on that too. I rode part of the way with a friend which was very nice, but I had a hard time not letting myself dwell on the fact that I was slowing her down. Why can't how I'm doing now be good enough for now? Maybe she didn't want to speed-demon.

I did finally get home to my house and my beloved and my dog and my cats, and the beautiful sunshine, and I didn't want to leave again.

But, the food group was having a group dinner at an incredible chinese place, and so I made myself go. I got in the car, and the service engine light came on. Sigh. Another opportunity to just turn tail and go back home, which seems safer. But I made myself go. It's an idiot light, an idiot light that I'm afraid of, but it's still an idiot light.

I got there, and there were 20 people there already—a huge group. The organizer made room for me at one of the tables, and the woman next to me asked me my screen name, and I said VJ, and the table murmured knowingly. And then I realized I had worn my bowling shirt which has VJ embroidered on the front. The man next to me says, yeah, VJ and I did the Austin Marathon—and damn, it's Stuart! Too cool.

I met Stuart on my first food group event, a tacqueria crawl. Then, after I did my first half, and was collapsed and delirious with sunstroke, there was Stuart, saying hi. I've run into him in restaurants and races every now and again, and then, on the plane to Austin in February.

So we chatted about what the next couple months hold (unfortunately, it sounds like surgery for Stuart) while we tore into some incredible chinese food. It was great. The food group is just so laid back, and even with lots of new people, the conversation and comraderie was lovely. We all talked about food and restaurants and travel and more about food. Everything was delicious and interesting, and there were lots of things I had never tried before.

I didn't overeat—if anything, I underate, and I felt light as a feather walking out. Nice when it works out that way.

Posted at March 15, 2005

Comments

i'm going to start my first pilates class at dishman spring term. i am clueless, intimidated, but yet also, somehow, game. (obviously, or i wouldn't have signed up.) any advice? :)

Posted by: sara at March 15, 2005 2:28 PM