about getting from point A to point B in the most interesting ways possible

If you're a large woman in America, your whole life is an opportunity to feel self-conscious, embarrassed, resentful and way too big. You can hide in the corner or on the couch, you can go to therapy, or you can put on your lycra bike shorts and get out there and move.
—Jayne Williams, Slow Fat Triathlete

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April 14, 2005

making an effort permalink

This is the week of making an effort.

Last week, I read a blog entry about fat women, and while there were parts that I agreed with, there were other parts that were just dead wrong. One was a theme that fat women just don't care about their appearance, and one commenter talked about fat women with cat hair on their butts. Well, that last thing is certainly true for me.

There is an element of truth there. I don't "do" my hair because it looks worse if I try that. Last night's haircut (which I do regularly, as well as color, as well as brow waxes), my hair dresser flat ironed my hair, which just, to my eye, looks weird. Everyone in the salon loved it, sweetie loved it, etc. And in trying to recreate that this morning, I have an odd mix of dead-straight, and hair that went feral and is wavy. Oh well.

Make-up is similar. Last week I experimented with eye shadow—big mistake. I can handle lipstick and mascara, but that's about it.

Getting cat hair off my clothes is next to impossible, so I try to get off the bigger pieces and call it good. When I stay in hotels, I'm able to lint-roller *all* the cat hair off, which is pretty damn cool.

But it's hard to get excited about clothes and uncomfortable shoes. I look in the mirror, and I'm still fat, and it doesn't matter how nice the clothes are. It doesn't matter that I'm shapelier and firmer than I was.

This week, however, I'm making an effort. Wearing mascara and lipstick. Wearing nice clothes. Matching jewelery. I have to admit, it makes me feel better about myself, and it makes me feel like I look better. Which is worth something.

Yesterday, I even brought in flowers from the garden: red tulips, bluebells and some blooming rosemary. It's so cheerful I could just puke!

...

Last night, I borrowed Sweetie's Stella to go to the hair dresser. Very interesting. I kick-started it, and it was running pretty choppy until I have revved it up for a few minutes. I got on, and rode to the library (1 mile), and that was fine, but getting it back on its stand was an effort. Then, on to the hair dressers.

It was weird. I didn't really care for it. Now, that's weird because as you know, I am obsessed. And, I've been having this very high school sort of internal discussion about whether to get a vintage or vintage style "Italian" scooter, or a "plastic" Asian scooter. See, the vintage styles are cooler, you know, in with the popular kids and all that.

I feel ridiculous that at 42, this matters to me. Cripes! How much cool factor can I have at 42, and who cares anyways?

Anyhow, I just didn't feel like the Stella was very stable, and one part of that could be having the engine mounted to one side, a foot and a half off the ground, and the other could be those 10" wheels. Getting it up to 30mph and coming down the Fremont hill was unpleasant.

So. I guess that shortens my test drive list quite a bit.

Posted at April 14, 2005

Comments

Cool is ageless!

(And regardless what you think, you pass the test from where I sit!)

Jill, the Self-proclaimed Arbiter of Cool

Posted by: Jill at April 14, 2005 11:50 AM

Weird, because just this week I recruited a pulled-together friend of mine to help give me some "style". Normally I don't care about this sort of thing, but I've been feeling unattractive lately, so I thought I'd give girly things a whirl.

So we bought a skirt and some lipstick and high heels (gasp!).

I returned the high heels the next day because, really, it was just not realistic for me.

But I did do something new with my hair today -- two ponytails, but still, it's new!

It's fun to play around with persona sometimes. And fresh flowers are brilliant for lifting a mood.

Posted by: Megan at April 14, 2005 1:35 PM

Cat hair on the butt! LOL! That is funny. But obviously from someone who hates both cats and women who have different body fat levels than... well, let's not get into that. I'm pretty sure I'd rather have cat hair on me than HIS hair. Keep up the great workouts and YOU GO GIRL!

Posted by: Nancy Toby at April 14, 2005 5:20 PM

Where was the blog entry you're talking about? I'm curious now. I always feel better when I make an effort too, but it's frustrating when I can't find things that fit to make the effort with.

And I agree that cool is ageless. I'm counting on it.

Posted by: Cheesepuppet at April 14, 2005 10:33 PM