about getting from point A to point B in the most interesting ways possible

If you're a large woman in America, your whole life is an opportunity to feel self-conscious, embarrassed, resentful and way too big. You can hide in the corner or on the couch, you can go to therapy, or you can put on your lycra bike shorts and get out there and move.
—Jayne Williams, Slow Fat Triathlete

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June 20, 2005

how not to vacuum permalink

photos, Brini MaxwellI was having a Brini Maxwell moment this morning before going to work. I had showered, I was dressed, and now I just needed to pick up the living room and vacuum.

Lest you think that I have lost my tiny mind, I did have a reason. I do believe carpets should be vacuumed once a year. No, wrong! My sweetie's asthma has been really awful over the weekend, and last night he spent most of the night sitting up in bed, trying to breathe.

We do have three indoor cats, who we thought would be entertaining and loving, but in fact only exist to shed hair and stink up the house. Oh, and then there's the dog.

Anyways, I hoped that perhaps vacuuming would make it easier for my sweetie to breathe once he got home this evening. And I've drank the Dyson kool-aid—I love the Dyson, I love the canister that fills with cat-hair, over and over again! It makes me feel like I'm really accomplishing something. That, and the carpet is actually a shade lighter afterwards.

So I begin vacuuming, and all three cats and one dog run a ferocious clip up the stairs. I vacuum the carpet, the cat tree, under the stationary bike, over the couch. I'm really getting into it, and the dog is peeking between the railing of the stairs, trying to see when it's safe for him to come back downstairs.

And that's when it happened. In a Brini Maxwell moment, I was wearing my long pink scarf, and I had forgotten entirely about it. Until I managed to vacuum up one of the ends. Not that Brini would ever vacuum up her own scarf while it was on her neck!

Posted at June 20, 2005

Comments

I'm not up on Brini Maxwell, but I loved your story. Sounds like a typical day when I try to help my wife with the housework...

Posted by: Jack at June 20, 2005 10:18 PM

Well, damn! I hope it didn't choke you or something. And if the vacuuming bugs your husbands asthma, you should try the Eureka vacuums with True HEPA filtration. They have an extra filter on the outside that filters the air coming back out. My wife has terrible asthma and we found this vacuum works great. You know that typical vacuum cleaner smell most vacuums have? This one doesn't have it because all those particles get trapped.

Posted by: Jon in Michigan at June 21, 2005 8:18 AM