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November 18, 2005
more psychobabble 
The last couple days have been a whirlwind. I met with El Career Guy yesterday and talked mostly about selling myself, and then in therapy we talked about why I'm always trying to get people to like me and not asking myself if I like the person, situation, job, etc. Interesting stuff. I feel like I'm on the edge of a volcano, and that I'm about to come on to something huge. Though I know that realizations don't usually work that way.
And so I'm just kinda bracing myself for change, feeling a little afraid that I'm going to have to slog through some uck to get to something good. But in some ways, I'm already in the swamp, trying to avoid wrestling with the alligators.
In spite of my apprehension, everything is apparently great. Last night Sweetie and I indulged in my new favorite thing (Hot Lips pepperoni pizza with habanero salsa), and then went to a lecture at PSU from Gordon Price. Long ago, and far away, I read Alan Thein Durning's This Place on Earth: Home and the Practice of Permanence, which talked about Gordon Price's Vancouver, BC—a place where urban planning has created a very exciting city with a declining dependence on the automobile. His lecture did not disappoint.
And one of the goals of late has been actually getting myself moving in the morning. Well, not moving moving, but at least moving. This morning, I did a little housework, and got myself into work early. Hurrah!
Posted at November 18, 2005
Comments
That is interesting. I think I find myself in the opposite side, deciding if I like them without trying to make myself likeable to them. There has to be a balance somewhere.
Posted by: Jon in Michigan at November 19, 2005 10:35 AM
Back many, many years ago, when I was in my early 20's, I had what the therapists called the "Everybody Like Me Syndrome."
They asked me, "Do YOU like everybody?"
To which, of course, I replied, "No."
"Then," they said, "why should you expect everyone to like you?"
I'm happy to say I ditched that syndrome pretty quickly. I have since discovered, people DO like me just the way I am and if they don't, then it's THEIR problem, not mine. All you need to do is be yourself. The rest will follow as it should.
Posted by: PuddyRat at November 19, 2005 6:11 PM
Ohhh, that on-the-precipice feeling is uncomfortable, isn't it?
It's interesting what you say about the tension between selling your skills and selling your personality. I mean, having marketable skills that other people want is way different from whether or not they like your personally, though I think in the workplace it's often confused and, at least for me, there is this sort of constant background voice coaching me to believe that if someone doesn't appear to like me very much, then I am clearly a person without any iota of value at all, which is ridiculous, but who said that little background voice was rational? I also think that the desire to be liked by everyone is tied in to a desire to avoid conflict.
Anyway, I'm glad to hear the coach is making you think about this stuff.
Posted by: Megan at November 22, 2005 6:22 AM