« not snowed in | Main | Housecleaning. Housecleaning. Housecleaning. »
December 20, 2005
It's raining 
I've just had that sinking feeling.
I was in high spirits this morning. I got some stuff done at home, and I came into work and did some stuff, and I rode the bus in with an old favorite driver. Look at me go! And then I thought about xmas day, and the fact that I had told some folks I was making dinner... and the fact that Sweetie and I haven't talked about it since. And the fact that we moved all of our junk out of the living room... into the dining room.
So I very tip-toedly wrote the email, saying, hey, I'll take responsibility for everything, I know it's a hassle and last-minute and all that, and I'll bend over backwards, etc., etc. And maybe an hour later, he calls, and says it's okay, though it's unspoken that he's seeing this as a ton of work and quite possibly a big drag.
And so any mania I might have felt, any momentum, it's gone.
And then I have the sinking feeling. The thought that, um, would anyone come over on December 25th anyways? Maybe I've just asked for an unnecessary favor, maybe I've freaked us both out over nothing.
...
But hey, what are the holidays but a brilliant time to freak out about nothing? Or everything?
...
I'm making my mom's cat a holiday collar. Yep, I'm aware that it won't get there in time, and yes, I'm also aware of the silliness of knitting a cat collar out of expensive chenille, but the idea got laid in my head and hatched, and there it is. The rule in my family is that xmas presents have to be there by xmas—which I suppose is reasonable—so why do I continue knitting this collar when it isn't going to make it there? Oh sigh.
I am just aching to start something new. I'm tired of the basketweave dish towel, the thought of ripping out the scooter gloves is heartbreaking, and then there's the collar. Boring!
Posted at December 20, 2005