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February 28, 2006
preparation
I was actually ready early this morning! And thus, I am on top of the world.
Other than that, I have very little to tell. I've been diligent, and not terribly interesting. I worked through my lunch yesterday. That was a mistake. But I got a good 20 minute walk in on the way to work.
But hey. I love this story about a group of older people starting their own housing development (the Times derisively calls it a commune, natch).
February 27, 2006
getting serious
I had a serious day on Friday, one where I was on task the whole while I was at work (and I was loving it). I was focused! And when I went to see career dude, I was still in my work mindset, still wanting to investigate and explore and research.
I brought up the podcasting idea because I thought he'd be really into it. He wasn't. He pointed out that while podcasting was cool, and most likely fun, that it would take time. Time away from this whole career idea.
I've thought about it all weekend. It really is all about focus and priority. What are my priorities? For the last while, it's been working on the guide and drinking beer. If I want to get back on track athletically, I can't just wait to get excited about it—I need to make it a priority, set some goals, get out there and work on it.
The same is true in the career track. The time I spend thinking about it is time that I could be actually working on it. And luck, as we know, favors the prepared. Right now I'm just hoping I'm lucky rather than building my luck the old fashioned way. Time to get to work.
Of course, the last couple weeks have all been about olympic knitting. I finished my project before the closing ceremonies, and celebrated by going to the farmer's market, buying the most expensive chicken I've ever bought, going on a scooter ride, checking out a new yarn store, and working on the guide. Such excitement.
So, my priorities for the shortterm:
- career
- exercise
- search engine crap
- guide
It's clear to me that giving something a little examination makes a huge difference. For example, the financial austerity thing. For the first time in recent memory, I have not dipped into savings this month. And honestly, I didn't feel like I was cutting back all that much, I was just aware of it. But it seems that just being aware of it is the whole thing.
So even though I've been throwing money at career dude, it's clear that I'm the one dragging my feet. There's lot of reasons for that, all having to do with my sucky outlook... but really.
February 23, 2006
back... in the NY groove
Does anyone else know that song? KISS, my how I don't care them, but I love this song, or at least, that chorus. The chorus is running through my head, and I have to admit, it's one of those things that describes my feeling okay. And I am again.
Is anyone else using gmail? Initially I loved it, recently I've hated it, and now again, I am delighted by it. When they announced their whole chat thing, I was skeptical. But I love the custom messages.
I hadn't noticed them at first. And then, when I checked my mail (compulsively), there listed under Brit's alias was still pregnant. Later there was another message—how cool is that?
So, my custom message reads back in the NY groove. I know, boring....
I got up this morning, and I just wanted to ride my bike. First time in days, maybe weeks, where I've woken up and said, wow, it'd be great to cycle into work. Of course, this might have something to do with the Knitting Olympics, and the fact that I need every minute for the unending project.
I've thought about trying to combine the activities, but I just don't think it'll fly. While I used to be really good at riding with no hands, I have a feeling my balance and the front end of the townie would make that not such a good idea. I may do a test run this weekend, just cuz.
Important question:
So, for those of you familiar with my portland guide—would a podcast be a good idea? What should it cover? Are any of you podcasting?
February 22, 2006
What would Jung say?
My favorite neighborhood building, that which was a tire center that is across from that which was a Wonder Bread plant, now no longer has a roof.
Big open buildings like that really capture my imagination. I think it's part of my obsession with rooved, contained outdoor spaces. I wonder what Jung would say.
...
There is not much to tell here. I've been doing a whole lot of knitting, of course, and squeezing in some decluttering. Especially in the office. I'm getting a different desk (which comes this afternoon!), so what a good excuse to go through everything, and fill the waste and recycling bins a couple times. I've been doing some computer file cleaning as well.
Though. It is an exciting day. We've gotten our new search appliance, so I've been busily adding thesaurus items. Even without a thesaurus, this is going to be such the better search engine than our previous ones (we've had Microsoft Index Server, and mnogosearch). But I have been so frustrated for so long with our search results that going through our error logs and finding things to add to the thesaurus has been a pleasure.
Though, I feel a bit uncertain about the whole thing. Everything is so up in the air right now at work that I'm not sure if I should be promoting things or ignoring them, and I'm fairly certain that doing either will get me in trouble. I doubt I'm going to get any direction, so, I'm just trying to think about the users.
...
With this morning's quote, it really made me realize that I need to get some exercise. It's such a vicious cycle: frustration with work, come home and camp in front of the TV and/or the computer, drink too much, wake up the next morning feeling worse, drag self to work... I need to break the cycle and take care of myself, but I'm feeling so drained in the evenings and the mornings that making that change is hard.
Where is my tenaciousness? I seem to have lost that resilence.
Low
When the spirits are low, when the day appears dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hope hardly seems worth having, just mount a bicycle and go out for a spin down the road, without thought on anything but the ride you are taking.
—Arthur Conan Doyle, in an 1896 article for Scientific American
February 21, 2006
into the wild
This is not my house, thank you very much
My weekend was good. I did a buttload of knitting, Sweetie did some driving around so we could explore (and I could knit), and we had a couple of great meals that have reminded me of the potential of a charming dining experience at any price. Nice.
I did do a little decluttering, though nothing substantial, and I haven't set foot in the basement. I did take pictures though, and that was sobering. Maybe I'll post them when I hit the after stage? Or, maybe not.
Last night, we were sitting in the tavern a few feet away from our house (or so it seems), waiting for some of Sweetie's coworkers to show (they didn't). I had brought my laptop to work on an entree for the guide. A guy comes up, and asks if we're rating our beers—you know, if that's why the computer is here. We had a good laugh at that, chatted about it for awhile, and then decided we'd start a beer blog. Not there's anything there yet, and who knows when I'll be adding to it, but it's a nice excuse to drink some beer.
...
Megan ran a half and Richard a whole marathon Sunday at Freescale in beautiful Austin, TX. Damn, they both did so good! I was thinking about them Sunday.
February 17, 2006
happiness!
Last night, I went to the sewing class. I had my super cute fabrics, my super cute rickrack, my scissors and pins and ripper in hand. I was even early.
Even so, it all ended up being a fiasco. I managed, with some difficulty, to put thread on the bobbin, but then the bobbin thread made the coolest pom-pom on the back of my muslin. Who knew that bobbins come in more than one size? Our instructor fixed that. We had to iron our fabrics, then cut them out. We didn't have tissue-paper, just the directions for this many inches by this many inches. I'm sure there are ways to nicely cut fabric into a rectangle, but I don't know them yet. My fabric pieces ended up being vaguely oval. Then, iron. Then fold and iron again. I, of course, folded in the wrong direction, and then we were supposed to sew straight lines. At that point, I didn't trust myself at all and pinned them out, though, they weren't terribly straight.
I'm looking at this class as a way of getting my feet wet again, of getting more comfortable with sewing machines. That was my goal, and that's working quite well. It's just this whole knitting needle case that is really rather funny.
If I get a chance this weekend, I'll look for the sewing machine that I think is in the basement, and try again.
...
It's cold here, with wind chill in the teens. I know, for everyone else, that's winter, but here in Oregon, it's an event. Artic blast! Dude! So Daphne, our outdoor cat, is in the bathroom. It's great. She keeps up this aria from her side of the bathroom door, while the two indoor sylvesters keep up their aria on their side. Nobody's happy! It's so calming. As it is, there are things she can eat in the bathroom—the shower curtain, the towels, the bath mat—but we're hoping that there is a limit to how much a ten pound cat can destroy.
...
In talking with Career Dude, we identified a pattern. I leave his office all full of vim and vigor and optimism. I go to work and the life is sucked out of me I become demoralized. I wish it wasn't so, but it's only getting worse. The trick is to get some momentum going. Ha!
I was catching up with cheesepuppet (so damn prolific!) and she's had some more interesting stuff about paring down. For example, she points to info on the Compact, a group of folks who pledge to buy nothing this year, and she creates a piechart of her stuff. I tell you, I want to purge my house so badly, and I may do some this weekend if the Knitting Olympics goes well.
February 16, 2006
peel down
What a weird little life I find myself in these days. A friend took me out to a fancy dinner last night, which was okay, but didn't really live up to extensive hype that has surrounded this restaurant. I've heard repeatedly that the service is awful, and while ours could have been better, it wasn't bad. So at the end of the meal, the waitress asks me if I'm a reporter. Errrr.
This morning on the bus, a homeless guy gave up his seat for me, and another homeless guy sat near by. He opened a restaurant packet of saltines and ate the two crackers very slowly. Here I am, eating these fancy meals when I could use a (quite a) bit less, and he could probably use a series of good solid meals.
...
There is now a Team Portland blog, for Portland Knitting Olympics athletes. I'll try to limit my knitting chatter to that.
...
So I did the Salmon Street Death March this noon. It was really rather disconcerting. It was hard. It's clear to me that I need to get with the program and get back to work. And yes, I did knit and walk.
February 15, 2006
update
I'm up to 25". My rewrite of the pattern says I just need to make it to 26". I can barely stand it! Arms!! I'm going to be knitting sleeves!
...
Last night's pilates was a fiasco. I guess the instructor thought that because we were there, we were underloved, and thus needed to be punished. Obviously, we weren't off being wined and dined for Valentines Day. Well hell! Our anniversary is at the end of the week, so Valentines Day has always been a minor event, and anyways, I got wined and dined at lunch.
I was having a hell of a time. New exercises, very hard, ack. I started thinking about how I wanted to be able to do this stuff, not the adaptations, not an incomplete set—I wanted to be able to do them. End of story. Which turned into me bashing myself about gaining weight and taking a few months off of pilates and now being back at square one.
Yes, it's true, I am back at square one. I do the poses, and I find it hard to both "activate" my core and do the pose, and activating my core tends to mean that I tense all my muscles and don't breathe. Which, you know, sucks. I'm ready to remember how to isolate those muscles, how to do two things at once, no, three: tighten the abs, do the pose, and breathe. It's possible, I've done it before.
And I have to remember too, that even when I was super serious about pilates, I still generally wasn't doing full sets, and I still was using adaptions frequently. And it was still really hard. It was always really hard.
...
Coming home on the bus last night, I passed the Valentine's Mocktails on the Bridge party. A local bike org does this monthly Breakfasts on the Bridge event, usually the last Friday of the month, and it's this totally amazing thing. You're greated by friendly faces inviting you to have a cup of coffee (or tea) (in a porcelain cup!) and a snacky-baked good, and gasp, talk to people you don't know. It's unnerving and wonderful. And the mocktails appeared to be even more of a success. I see stuff like this and it gets me all squishy. The whole random-acts-of-bike-love vibe is in full force, and it makes me feel like I need to grow into deserving it.
...
Oh! I want to declutter. I want to declutter! It's kinda driving me nuts!
I've thought about taking some pictures of some of the bad areas of the house. These would be my bad areas—while my Sweetie is a packrat, he's got nothing on me. I think about posting them here, and then I think, no, no way, no way could I do that. But it might be good for me to just take some pictures, so that when I get something done, I have this visual reminder of how bad it originally was.
Right now, my yarn is stored in a cabinet. Not in any orderly fashion, certainly— it's in bins and grocery bags and luggage. Finding something requires trekking across a small patch of brush junk, and then you invariably have to take everything out to find what you were looking for. Some of these yarns are so incredibly gorgeous, it's a total shame that they are hidden away. Of course, with my lot of thieving animals, they at least need to be out of reach. But not necessarily out of sight.
I was checking out Knitty's Amy's blog and she's posted a photo of her knitting storage area. Sigh! She obviously has her stash under control. And I obviously don't.
It's interesting how, in the end, your possessions own you. I dream about the garage in the New Pornographers' Use It video because it represents what I want to be, but also because I need a place to store my lawnmower, my bicycle, and my scooter. And Sweetie needs a place to store his brewing setup.
How much time do I spend working to support my need to store stuff??
People joke about making a "clean" start, about starting from nothing. The closest I've come is moving across country with one (tercel-sized) carload. Even so, I had a huge amount of crap stored at my parents that I had to later weed down to another carload. Within six months, I lost the majority of that second carload in a flood. But then I bought a house...
In Amy's blog, she's mentioned knowing Jane Siberry (Dude!), and recently she points to this article about Jane 's break with the past, or why she's selling and/or giving away most of her possessions. For her, it's the need to reconnect with her creative self that has necessitated her paring down.
"This is the best I can do to keep my music alive. I'm operating on trust. I don't know what's ahead, but I do know that I can take whatever comes.
"I feel in harmony with... something. It's what I've been looking for all my life. I can't wait for the second half to begin."
February 14, 2006
happy valentines!
Okay! The Olympic shrug is now 17" long. Just 9 more inches and I can start the arms!
I'm still in a funk, not sure about what, not sure what to do. I know it's ridiculous, but there it is. Exercise, like pilates tonight, will certainly help.
I started reading a new blog yesterday. As usual, I got there through a circtious path. I'm on a mailing list for xtracycle enthusiasts, and one of the participants is a self-defined woman of faith. At some point, she pointed to her blog, Leading or Led. Part of the allure is my fascination with the Quaker faith, part is the fact that one of the ways she expresses her faith is through her clothing choices, and part is "giving up the siren call of Beauty for the Simplicity of Plain". I've been thinking about what Paula has written ever since.
Giving up consumerism. Making do with what you have. Making choices based on community. Getting there under your own power. This is stuff that is super-exciting to me, and I love to think about it. In practice, of course, it's harder. My past 14 or so days of financial austerity have been successful, but not without me reminding myself repeatedly that I have what I need—I just need to find it.
I want to keep paring down. I haven't been doing my decluttering because of my herculian olympic knitting attempts (!), but each time I pass through the second floor landing, I realize—it's gotta go, it's all gotta go. Each time I think about maybe getting a sewing machine, I remind myself that I need to make room for it, that it will need to have a home.
Over the weekend, I had the opportunity to receive an elliptical trainer. It was super cool. But I already have exercise equipment that I don't use that's taking up part of the dining room, and that was super cool too. When I use it, I really enjoy it. It's too bad I just don't use it that often. So I don't need another something to hang purses from.
Sensible dress
The bicycle will accomplish more for women's sensible dress than all the reform movements that have ever been waged.
~Author Unknown, Demorest's Family Magazine, 1895
February 13, 2006
damn web sites
Well, it's grey and misty outside. I knew our little island of sunshine had to end sometime, but I'm still really disappointed that it has. Though the weather guy has predicted snow for the end of the week. We can only hope.
I'm halfway through the back of my shrug. My knitting now measures 13" x 16". It's incredible to me that I've accomplished so much, so fast, and this on reasonably small needles (US 8 / 5mm). The jet black is beautiful but a little hard on the eyes, truth be told.
This weekend was lovely. Saturday, I spent most of the day knitting, punctuated by a trip to my new favorite Mexican place for brunch, and getting groceries on the scooter. Sweetie bought and assumed a gas grill. Sunday, I did the race, then came home and hung out on the backporch with Sweetie and his beloved new obsession while he grilled chipotle-orange chicken. I made some corn spoon bread, and we had a massive meal of chicken, beans and rice, salad and spoon bread. Yum!
The race, eh. It was a 5K, and I hadn't slept so well the night before. I got down there, and everything was pretty disorganized—volunteers didn't know anything about where to pick up your bib, where the starting line was, etc. Usually, Mela is supercranky about this sort of disorganization, and I'm all excited and happy about racing. This time, I was cranky and she was happy.
Still, it's a good cause (fanconi anemia), and we had beautiful weather, so quit yer 'plainin', vj. I did the 5k in 47 minutes, not my best time, but still. The last mile I did a good sprint, and was very pleased with myself, and then Mela and I ate breakfast, which as always was the most delicious food I could ever remember eating.
Later in the day, I scootered up to Alberta Street to buy some fabric and check out the new yarn store there. The fabric store is small, but full of really beautiful materials, which explains I suppose how 2 yards of fabric, some accessories and some rick-rack cost me 30-someodd bucks. But damn, it's gorgeous material! (I got a yard of a brown Kaffe Fassett fabric, which if you look at the photo on their web site is the sixth in, and a yard of a hand-dyed aqua fabric. And a light lemon yellow chenille rickrack)
I really liked the owner, as well, who greeted me by complementing me on my Corazzo jacket (literally, she said, That's a beautiful Corazzo jacket you have on). Lo and behold, she's the Corazzo owner's ex. It's such a small town, and seemingly quite amiable as well. We chatted about my sewing class, and scooters, and it was the sort of pleasant genuine conversation that makes you want to go back.
I went into the yarn store, and even though it was closing time, the store was full of folks. I loved looking around but I never found the needles—not that I was looking very hard.
Later, we met up with the Texiles at a brewpub in the pearl. The tall tables in the bar area are elegant, but kinda hard to sit at for a couple beers. In spite of all of my misgivings of the remodel, it's an elegant space, but it didn't seem very relaxing. I guess that's probably not the aim, though. The prices weren't cheap, but they weren't crazy either as I had feared. The most annoying thing about the place though was the staff—everyone acted like they were your best friend.
We hurried over to the Guild to see the Devil and Daniel Johnston. My filmophile friend had loved it, and we were all looking forward to it. I had checked the Film Center web site on Friday for the time: 8pm, Sunday. So we get there, and, oh, there was a mistake... says the stoner guy out front. Us, and a half-dozen angry people were all like, there's a mistake? We checked the web site! And if you check the web site today, it still says Sunday, 8pm. Grrrr!
So we went to our new neighborhood place and had another beer. Damn, we were all disappointed.
February 10, 2006
let the games begin!
I've been trying to decide about some exercise component for the Olympics, but I'm not there yet. I think maybe a half hour of walking a day? That's nothing, I know, but I just need to have a goal.
...
Last week, I had a couple of days where I felt, literally, exhausted. Like if I wasn't doing something, I would fall right asleep. And this happened again on Wednesday.
Maybe it was just riding the bike home. I rode in traffic until I got to the Broadway Bridge, which forces me to go fast and focus, but honestly, it's a bit much. Then the effort of getting up the bridge, and then down, and then up the little hill, just seemed to totally sap me. I got home, and boy, was I tired.
We had a lowkey evening, got to bed at a reasonable time, and Thursday morning, I get up and I'm feeling just like I did on Wednesday night, like I got no sleep at all. I got all ready to go to work, showered, dressed, dog out, and I just decided that I'd take a personal day.
Mind you, it's so gorgeous outside that I had been thinking I would take a personal day to do yard work. But I didn't feel up to it yesterday, and I spent most of the day on the couch. Blegh.
But in the evening, I went to my sewing class. I was all cranky when I came in, because it appeared to be this whole hipster thing and I was feeling decidely un-hipster. But in actuality, while they might have been hipsters, everyone was really nice, and I had a good time and learned a lot.
I heard the best tardy excuse too. One woman came in late: she said that she was driving down Cornell road when a giant evergreen fell down in front of her car. It happened so quickly that she couldn't stop, and so she just drove over the tree! Can you imagine?
...
There have been two murders in the neighborhood in less than a week. One happened Saturday, about 4 blocks from the house. The other happened Wednesday night, and the murdered guy had been a regular up and down my street. He had quite a rep of playing the harmonica, and he used to hang out at Paul's house, before Paul moved away. My neighborhood has been quiet for so long, but strangely, things seem to be heating up. The dealers and prostitutes are all getting a quite a bit more aggressive.
February 8, 2006
back in the groove
Yesterday, I hit 2000 miles on the scooter. This happened when I was scooting to the dentist. Exciting stuff.
I scooted to pilates last night as well. Everything is better if it involves two wheels.
Pilates was kinda nuts. We used an exercise ball which seemed to work well for about 2/3 of the class and not at all for the other third. I have no balance, I know that already. In the hijinx that ensued, someone farted, which caused the instructor to talk for about 10 minutes about how she farts in almost every class. Yikes, didn't need to know that.
Even in spite of not being able to control my exercise ball, it was a real workout. We ended with arms, and it was the toughest arm workout I think we've ever had. My arms are feeling it today, oh yeah.
This morning, I rode Sweetie's bike into the shop. So I had a bit of a longer ride, and a different route that involved dodging giant trucks, other bicyclists, and parked cars. It was a little too exciting (you know), but still kinda fun in that, my adrenaline is surging 110%, way.
His bike is going to be outfitted in a collection of basic black gear: fenders, back rack, and front basket. It'll match the flat black of the bike. He'll like that. I'm so excited about the thought of it being commute ready. I pick it up tonight.
I went to the scooterists' lunch today, and while the interaction was fun, the best part was walking out of the restaurant and seeing scooter advertisements. Pictures will follow tomorrow. It was cool, and it caused all of us to say in unison, I'm in the wrong job.
Hopefully I'm going on a scooter ride tonight, too.
In my mania today, I've signed up for a sewing class (which starts tomorrow—yikes, no Thursday pilates for a couple weeks), and for a 5k on Sunday. The last couple weeks, I've been so busy that I've had to choose between events. Do I go to the super bowl party, or go on one of these two rides?? This weekend, I had to choose between the 5K and the Worst Ride of the Year, a fundraiser for the Community Cycling Center. It's hard for me to believe that bike rides are looking like so much fun. It's curious.
February 7, 2006
etc.
The last 24 hours - um, not so good. Came home to an awful smell and learned that we had a leak (and a giant smelly puddle) under the kitchen sink. This morning, I went to the dentist and had a panic attack in the chair.
I know, these are the sorts of posts that cause people to write comments about how I'm whiny and complaining. I know, I know.
...
So, in the hopes of avoiding that fate, I present to you:
The Best Blog in the World!
rrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnhhhh.blogspot.comThough, when I checked it this morning, I realized it was the best blog in the world, but I was concerned because I could find no cat photos (and we know that it's not a blog without feline fotografia). But there's a new entry with not only cat photos, but domo-kun!
...
This morning, while I was working on the guide, part of my mind was trying to figure out how to carry everything I need for the dayin one tiny purse. Cuz, really, what do I need? Wallet, checkbook, pen, camera? Yahuh. Oh, and my knitting. And my ip0d. And ground coffee. And my lunch.
It's a whole lot easier to travel light when you aren't trying to be frugal. And when you plan ahead.
Right now I'm all about putting things in order. Sorting the new blog entries into the static guide. Getting rid of erroneous and unnecessary things. Though when I look at the guide, or work, or my house, or my yard, there is so much to do that it's overwhelming. I'm just trying to remind myself to work on one thing at a time, don't overextend, and trust that even small moves are improvements. Baby steps. Work done incorrectly still blesses.
February 6, 2006
it's sunny
It is absolutely gorgeous outside. I rode the bike in, and I was in such an excellent mood, until I got to work. But damn, it is beautiful.
I'm thinking about doing something crazy like bicycling into NW over lunch. Bicycling might be able to redeem my mood!
I have mixed feelings about the weekend. I had a lot of fun, but I didn't get much done, and it seems that I am all about quantifiable stuff. Pictures taken, places visited, notes taken, junk removed, areas cleaned.
But I did take a look at my bills, and it seems that I should have plenty of $$ leftover after paying bills. So, now all I have to do is to stop spending it all. (cue sound of hysterical laughter)
February 3, 2006
this era of financial austerity
Most people start their resolutions in January. But I'm not like most people. Oh no. I start my resolutions after getting back from a trip.
I have two resolutions. Eating out less often, and a new age of financial austerity.
I've avoided balancing my checkbook for the last couple months, and I tell you, it was a huge mess. How can I be spending all this money? How is it possible?
The first obvious culprit has to be eating out, right? Because I do it all the time? Well, yes. Though, it's been interesting watching my thoughts looking for their beaten paths.
For example: I'm fidgeting at the bus stop and I notice that my nail polish is flaking. It's been flaking for days, more days that it was in good shape. I have nail polish remover and fresh polish at home. But my thoughts immediately run to buying a new bottle to take care of it once I get to work.
Or Sweetie mentions the D word, and so the next morning, I become obsessed with finding this salad recipe that I'm pretty sure I recycled in a purge a few weeks back. And sure enough, I have. And the library no longer has the book. Immediately, I think, I can go to Powell's and pick up a copy. Even though I probably could make the recipe from memory, I just want to have the reassurance of the recipe.
I have a problem and there has to be a purchase to take care of it, right? Right?
So it's been an interesting week. I did end up paying for the bus because I forgot my bus pass, and going out for an expensive lunch yesterday, but even so, I think I'm ahead of the game. And it's been interesting and maybe even fun to think about how I can solve my own problems without buying something.
...
Cheesepuppet mentioned this book, Not Buying It: My Year Without Shopping, by Judith Levine, and joked about buying it. That was my first impulse, too. But I've now put it on hold at the library.
...
I had this great dream a couple of nights ago. I dreamt I was over at Sara's house, and she rolled up a corner of a rug in her living room, and there was a trapdoor. We opened the trapdoor, and there was a full, normal, beautiful staircase going down to a beautiful guest bedroom. The room was in the basement, but you never would have known it—there was lots of blonde wood and windows, and it was really warm and lovely.
I saw some other friends over the expensive lunch, who exclaimed that Sara must have a secret!
Though this morning, I started thinking about this, and some of my other housing focused dreams, and thought that perhaps they were a metaphor for what I wanted to be and become. Exclusive, transparent, well-constructed, solid, modest, clean, straightforward, and useful. Some of these are contradictory: how can something be exclusive and transparent or modest? I'm not sure. Need to work on this.
...
I feel like the last couple months have been a time of many breakthroughs. I've had a number of emotional realizations, and this week, I feel like I might actually be breaking through on the portland guide. First, there was this media event. And today, as I was feverishly adding entries to my upcoming.org, I noticed I had a new member in my guide group... and I checked, and it was the founder. Like, one of the two people who created upcoming.org. Yikes! But I decided that I may as well see this as something positive, because, um, what else can I do?
February 2, 2006
beer, beer beer
It's so exciting—the fermenting beer is in a bucket on the cold side of our kitchen, and if you were bored, you could watch the bubbling of the yeast as it's busy changing sugar to alcohol. This is dumb, I know, but I feel like we have this new living entity in the house, which is much less interesting than the cats or dog, but is still there, quietly at work.
...
Last night, we went to an invitation-only event at a local brewpub that has been closed for remodeling for over a year. We got the invitation from the finagling of a foodie friend who suggested that because I do this portland guide, I should be invited. And I was. It's flattering.
This place used to be one of my favorite places to go have a beer. The beer, of course, was good, and the pub was in an old industrial building, all high ceilings, brick and giant wooden posts, so this awesome physical space. Tables and chairs, and the rooms, seemed somewhat arbitrary—there was a solid but mismatched quality to the place that added to my pleasure.
Perhaps the coolest gimmick they had was being right on the streetcar line. They had a Streetcar will arrive in 11 minutes readerboard both facing the streetcar line, and facing into the brewpub. It was somehow reassuring that you could catch the streetcar that you needed.
Anyhow, last night was kinda a shock. The space has been entirely redone, still very industrial, but also very sleek and modern. They spent a lot of money. They have these taps they call iced cobras that really do ice up, and they do this glass rinsing thing that not only rinses the glass, but it also chills it, and keeps the CO2 bubbles from sticking to it (which can diminish the taste of the beer). They had piles and piles of finger food, which ranged from okay to really good. Foodwise, it was a huge improvement.
Downstairs, they'll be serving pub grub from a huge menu. Upstairs, a higher-end restaurant.
We hung with our foodie friend and felt like imposters. The servers and other staff folks were on hand schmoozing everyone, do you like the food, can I get you anything, we hope you'll come back on the 23rd when we open for good. I asked just about all of them how affordable the food was going to be (we received menus with no prices), and everyone assured me that they were going to be very affordable. I wish I believed that.
They are adding a bakery to the operation, and unlike everything else, it seemed a little not-quite-thought-out. But who knows?
Anyhow, it was a surreal evening. Really, the test will be when they open, when the menus have numbers on them, when they are serving real food, not finger food.
February 1, 2006
a small victory
I feel so good this morning. I'm feeling on top of it. Hurrah!
Last night, I went to my evening pilates class. Mind you, I was already hurting from Monday's pilates class, and I was coming up with a thousand excuses, but I went. I've got to see that as a victory.
The class was excruciating. I expect it probably wasn't that bad for the rest of the class, but getting my already sore muscles to cooperate was a real test. Still, I felt like I really accomplished something, because I had tried as hard as I could. I held nothing back.
For some reason, I was exhausted once I got home, and after sitting around for about an hour, went to bed and fell sound asleep immediately.
...
This morning, of course, I had a whole new set of muscles that I didn't know about, all over my body, aching. Each movement (well, not typing, but, you know) brings this chorus of aches, this reminder that I've been exercising. Anything that uses my quads or glutes is actually a little hard, like getting up from sitting, or sitting back down. Dude!
I have to say I'm tremendously happy about this. I'm happy to be so aware of my body, and I'm happy that I am getting exercise again.
I got up early and did my usual morning stuff: drink coffee, snuggle with dog, write new entry for the guide, and gave myself a TV-time limit that I needed to get up and get productive at 6. And while my mind was a swirl with things I wanted to do, I (for whatever reason) had the self-possession to prioritize and start off with the things that I needed to do before I could go to work.
So I didn't get a lot of housecleaning done, but I did get outside early enough to still have some choices about how I'd get to work. Which is remarkable. Another victory!
Right now, it's not raining. I don't know how long this is going to last, but it's exciting while it lasts.
