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February 3, 2006
this era of financial austerity 
Most people start their resolutions in January. But I'm not like most people. Oh no. I start my resolutions after getting back from a trip.
I have two resolutions. Eating out less often, and a new age of financial austerity.
I've avoided balancing my checkbook for the last couple months, and I tell you, it was a huge mess. How can I be spending all this money? How is it possible?
The first obvious culprit has to be eating out, right? Because I do it all the time? Well, yes. Though, it's been interesting watching my thoughts looking for their beaten paths.
For example: I'm fidgeting at the bus stop and I notice that my nail polish is flaking. It's been flaking for days, more days that it was in good shape. I have nail polish remover and fresh polish at home. But my thoughts immediately run to buying a new bottle to take care of it once I get to work.
Or Sweetie mentions the D word, and so the next morning, I become obsessed with finding this salad recipe that I'm pretty sure I recycled in a purge a few weeks back. And sure enough, I have. And the library no longer has the book. Immediately, I think, I can go to Powell's and pick up a copy. Even though I probably could make the recipe from memory, I just want to have the reassurance of the recipe.
I have a problem and there has to be a purchase to take care of it, right? Right?
So it's been an interesting week. I did end up paying for the bus because I forgot my bus pass, and going out for an expensive lunch yesterday, but even so, I think I'm ahead of the game. And it's been interesting and maybe even fun to think about how I can solve my own problems without buying something.
...
Cheesepuppet mentioned this book, Not Buying It: My Year Without Shopping, by Judith Levine, and joked about buying it. That was my first impulse, too. But I've now put it on hold at the library.
...
I had this great dream a couple of nights ago. I dreamt I was over at Sara's house, and she rolled up a corner of a rug in her living room, and there was a trapdoor. We opened the trapdoor, and there was a full, normal, beautiful staircase going down to a beautiful guest bedroom. The room was in the basement, but you never would have known it—there was lots of blonde wood and windows, and it was really warm and lovely.
I saw some other friends over the expensive lunch, who exclaimed that Sara must have a secret!
Though this morning, I started thinking about this, and some of my other housing focused dreams, and thought that perhaps they were a metaphor for what I wanted to be and become. Exclusive, transparent, well-constructed, solid, modest, clean, straightforward, and useful. Some of these are contradictory: how can something be exclusive and transparent or modest? I'm not sure. Need to work on this.
...
I feel like the last couple months have been a time of many breakthroughs. I've had a number of emotional realizations, and this week, I feel like I might actually be breaking through on the portland guide. First, there was this media event. And today, as I was feverishly adding entries to my upcoming.org, I noticed I had a new member in my guide group... and I checked, and it was the founder. Like, one of the two people who created upcoming.org. Yikes! But I decided that I may as well see this as something positive, because, um, what else can I do?
Posted at February 3, 2006
Comments
VJ, you have the coolest dreams! Thanks for mentioning that book. I just finished reading "The Overspent American" and another book called "The Paradox of Choice", both of which talked about consumption being a substitute for other meaningful, intangible activities. It's hard though, because buying is such an instant pleasure. One of the authors talking about consumption as a "hedonic treadmill" where each purchase delivers slightly less pleasure, so we get back out there to buy again. Eating out is hard one for me, because I do think that a good meal can be a very real sensual pleasure. I'd hate to see you entirely give up that joy!
Posted by: Megan at February 3, 2006 4:54 PM
I read The Paradox of Choice, too, and it was a wonderful book! It sparked a big debate in my journal. The idea that we have too much choice really riled people up.
Posted by: cheesepuppet at February 5, 2006 6:51 PM
You do have cool dreams. I think the homes we dream for ourselves do say a lot about us.
Hub and I get an allowance every week. Eating out, sodas at work, etc come out of the allowance. Keeping things on a cash basis keeps us within our budget. The debit/credit cards make it too easy for us to go over.
Posted by: neca at February 6, 2006 6:25 AM
My dream analysis book (pre-Freudian) says that houses represent the self, so I don't know whether that means it's about you or Sara. It sounds like at the very least it means Sara is a warm and lovely friend who keeps a special place for you. Can't go wrong with a dream like that!
Posted by: Mar!a at February 7, 2006 12:04 PM