about getting from point A to point B in the most interesting ways possible

If you're a large woman in America, your whole life is an opportunity to feel self-conscious, embarrassed, resentful and way too big. You can hide in the corner or on the couch, you can go to therapy, or you can put on your lycra bike shorts and get out there and move.
—Jayne Williams, Slow Fat Triathlete

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February 3, 2006

this era of financial austerity permalink

graffiti bunnyMost people start their resolutions in January. But I'm not like most people. Oh no. I start my resolutions after getting back from a trip.

I have two resolutions. Eating out less often, and a new age of financial austerity.

I've avoided balancing my checkbook for the last couple months, and I tell you, it was a huge mess. How can I be spending all this money? How is it possible?

The first obvious culprit has to be eating out, right? Because I do it all the time? Well, yes. Though, it's been interesting watching my thoughts looking for their beaten paths.

For example: I'm fidgeting at the bus stop and I notice that my nail polish is flaking. It's been flaking for days, more days that it was in good shape. I have nail polish remover and fresh polish at home. But my thoughts immediately run to buying a new bottle to take care of it once I get to work.

Or Sweetie mentions the D word, and so the next morning, I become obsessed with finding this salad recipe that I'm pretty sure I recycled in a purge a few weeks back. And sure enough, I have. And the library no longer has the book. Immediately, I think, I can go to Powell's and pick up a copy. Even though I probably could make the recipe from memory, I just want to have the reassurance of the recipe.

I have a problem and there has to be a purchase to take care of it, right? Right?

So it's been an interesting week. I did end up paying for the bus because I forgot my bus pass, and going out for an expensive lunch yesterday, but even so, I think I'm ahead of the game. And it's been interesting and maybe even fun to think about how I can solve my own problems without buying something.
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Cheesepuppet mentioned this book, Not Buying It: My Year Without Shopping, by Judith Levine, and joked about buying it. That was my first impulse, too. But I've now put it on hold at the library.
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I had this great dream a couple of nights ago. I dreamt I was over at Sara's house, and she rolled up a corner of a rug in her living room, and there was a trapdoor. We opened the trapdoor, and there was a full, normal, beautiful staircase going down to a beautiful guest bedroom. The room was in the basement, but you never would have known it—there was lots of blonde wood and windows, and it was really warm and lovely.

I saw some other friends over the expensive lunch, who exclaimed that Sara must have a secret!

Though this morning, I started thinking about this, and some of my other housing focused dreams, and thought that perhaps they were a metaphor for what I wanted to be and become. Exclusive, transparent, well-constructed, solid, modest, clean, straightforward, and useful. Some of these are contradictory: how can something be exclusive and transparent or modest? I'm not sure. Need to work on this.
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I feel like the last couple months have been a time of many breakthroughs. I've had a number of emotional realizations, and this week, I feel like I might actually be breaking through on the portland guide. First, there was this media event. And today, as I was feverishly adding entries to my upcoming.org, I noticed I had a new member in my guide group... and I checked, and it was the founder. Like, one of the two people who created upcoming.org. Yikes! But I decided that I may as well see this as something positive, because, um, what else can I do?

Posted at February 3, 2006

Comments

VJ, you have the coolest dreams! Thanks for mentioning that book. I just finished reading "The Overspent American" and another book called "The Paradox of Choice", both of which talked about consumption being a substitute for other meaningful, intangible activities. It's hard though, because buying is such an instant pleasure. One of the authors talking about consumption as a "hedonic treadmill" where each purchase delivers slightly less pleasure, so we get back out there to buy again. Eating out is hard one for me, because I do think that a good meal can be a very real sensual pleasure. I'd hate to see you entirely give up that joy!

Posted by: Megan at February 3, 2006 4:54 PM

I read The Paradox of Choice, too, and it was a wonderful book! It sparked a big debate in my journal. The idea that we have too much choice really riled people up.

Posted by: cheesepuppet at February 5, 2006 6:51 PM

You do have cool dreams. I think the homes we dream for ourselves do say a lot about us.

Hub and I get an allowance every week. Eating out, sodas at work, etc come out of the allowance. Keeping things on a cash basis keeps us within our budget. The debit/credit cards make it too easy for us to go over.

Posted by: neca at February 6, 2006 6:25 AM

My dream analysis book (pre-Freudian) says that houses represent the self, so I don't know whether that means it's about you or Sara. It sounds like at the very least it means Sara is a warm and lovely friend who keeps a special place for you. Can't go wrong with a dream like that!

Posted by: Mar!a at February 7, 2006 12:04 PM